It Is What It Is…

I have heard the phrase ‘It is what it is’ so much lately from everyone around me including myself. The rising use of this phrase got me thinking about what it really means. In most contexts, I believe people use it in situations or circumstances they don’t feel they can change. While this might be true on some occasions, it feels more like a phrase of defeat rather then acceptance. So hear is the question I pose to all my folks setting their own p(e)ace…why chose defeat? In most situations you have the power to try to change whatever it is you don’t like. I will use myself as an example because as I said I recently used this phrase.

My romantic relationship recently almost ended because of a silly situation. I felt defeated in the whole situation and when explaining it to people I said ‘it is what it is.’ Accepting defeat and applying this phrase in a situation my boyfriend and I could change was only hurting myself. This phrase would have been enough to take me out of a relationship I really want to be in. I was so sad, but I had accepted defeat. I was really lucky in my situation because this wonderful man had not accepted defeat and made me see that I didn’t want to and didn’t have to either. While it’s a work in progress there is progress, and I am so happy that phrase did not cause me defeat in the end. Our relationship (which I will write more about once I run it by him) is progressing with both of us setting our own pace. In future, I will be more careful about using this phrase and especially the power I give it. Don’t let a phrase change your pace.

Has ‘it is what it is’ ever changed you setting your own pace?