Seeking Approval from Anyone But Yourself…

…is usually a mistake and only impedes setting your own p(e)ace.

It is natural to seek the approval of those around you, much like comparing yourself to those around you. The most prominent example that comes to mind in my life is work. You receive a review that let’s you know directly if you have your supervisors approval. I dread this review – it’s not that I am not confident in the job I do it’s that my job depends on this one person’s approval. That is a terrifying prospect. I tortured myself for a year with letting this person down until I received some good advice. Let it go. Let the need for this person’s approval go. Do the best job you can do and seek your own approval and praise. Once I did that my stress lessened by a lot. I stopped calculating the exact amount of money I would make if I got fired at that moment and I stopped crying when I got home at least twice a week.

When you tell a friend or family member about a life event or ask for advice are you really seeking their approval? I wonder this about myself pretty often. I am looking for someone to tell me it’s okay or I am making the right choice. While talking things through with people is a good thing, the only person’s approval you need is your own. You know what you want to do and what is right for you. Trust that.

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