Anxiety at 3 am…

…might be one of those things that no one with anxiety really talks about.

Last night my alarm went off at 3:00 am for some stupid reason and it set off the alarm in my head. My anxiety focused in on one thing at work. One thing that I will likely suffer a lecture for but my anxiety convinced me I was FOR SURE getting fired. Once you logic that out and feel better in your head the physical symptoms are not really easy to get rid of. Fast heart beat, hot and sweaty, pit in your stomach – the worst. AND you are worried you are going to wake your partner up and they will 1) see just how crazy you are 2) that you will wake up the person you care about at 3:00 am for anxiety your brain made up. The second worst part is being emotionally and mentally tanked the next day.

Lots of stuff happening at work – lots of stuff I am in charge of. What if it goes wrong or south and I fail? Or can’t fill my former bosses shoes? All that has culminated into a few days of awful stress. That’s not to say it is anxiety all day everyday the past week. I have had some really great moments with friends and my dude. Moments that remind me there is more to my life then work. I am kind of living for those moments this week. I look forward to my San Francisco trip in two weeks. It will be nice to have a break.

HAHAHAHA the show I am watching right now is talking about anxiety and how it’s okay to get help. It’s true – therapy rocks!


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