I Feel A Bit Stupid But…

…for some reason when this pandemic started I did NOT think it was going to last this long.

Or maybe I just hoped it wouldn’t. Wow – I am still part time and I am still a little worried everyday I go into work that today might be the day I get the ‘rona (my job is working with the public). All of this materials is ‘stay home stay safe’ but in order to pay rent to have a home I have to go to work…and work with the visiting public. There is no shelter at home choice for me and so many others. I am not a doctor, nurse, janitor, or other super important job that really really needs to work to help the world, but I need to work to help my world survive. I love my work and I know the risk I am taking but it is still a bit scary. Especially since I am taking that risk to barely get by. I guess I just thought some of this would have gotten a little better by now, but it’s getting worse.

That venting over with, I am very grateful to be getting by. My rent, bills, and food are somehow paid. Between work and UI benefits I am making it. Those UI benefits are essential to my survival. I promise you. I have no idea what I am going to do when Student Loans kick back in. That will put my bills past what I have coming to barely scrape by. I worry about it a lot. Although if you read this blog regularly you know I worry a lot in general, anxiety and all. I broke down and got myself some expensive dental insurance because I have a crown that is likely a root canal now. It hurts. I have been eating a lot of soft foods.

I don’t know how I have been scrapping by for so long during this pandemic, but I trust I will find a way to keep doing it for as a long as it takes.

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