A Drain On Resources…

…is what I have been made to feel like.

I don’t want my needs to be seen as so high that it’s making someones life miserable or a drain on them. I really don’t think I am actually all that needy, I just think this other person so used to funneling all of their time and energy into themselves, they’ve forgotten that having other people in your life takes some effort. I am not a wall ornament you hang up and take down when you have time to pay any attention to it. I am in fact a person who yes has some needs. I don’t think that is unreasonable. However, you reserve the right not fulfill those needs by leaving at any point. No one is making you stay bro so if it isn’t worth it just leave. I would certainly prefer that to being made to feel I am the source of all the bad things in your life. I need a break from that world of misery. It’s really hard to be an outlet for someone who is only venting misery all the time. I have tried everything and there is nothing I do that makes it better. In fact, you have made it very clear that I am a large part of that misery. Well it’s dragging me down and starting to make me miserable too. Your constant unhappiness is really affecting me. At what point do I protect myself possibly at someone else’s expense? I can’t make you make changes that will improve your life. Don’t like work – find another job. Don’t feel well physically and mentally – see some doctors who can give you the proper tools to deal with that. Don’t like how much attention I need? Then leave. Only one person can help you and that’s you. You have to take those steps – I can’t do it for you. At some point I am going to have put me first though and not get bogged down in the misery. At some point, I can’t wait for you to take steps to pull yourself out of this. That point is closer then ever. I am hanging on for dear life here, but help me out. I can’t hang on while I am made to feel like I am not welcome, wanted or worth any kind of effort. I matter too. It’s not just you anymore. If I put you first and you put you first then where the hell does that leave me? Do you want to be in that position?

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