…is the current form my anxiety is taking.
I am planning a large dinner for my volunteers on less time then I would like. Is that sorta my fault. Probably. It was also just kind of how to it worked out. But today I just feel like I wont make it. Like it will suck or there will be something huge that goes wrong or everyone will hate it or something like that. If you have anxiety you know if can turn any direction at any point. If you try to logic on point, your anxiety sprouts three more. It knows no rhyme or reason. Today was just a breaking point for me for some reason. I can’t even explain it. My anxiety is just taking over at the moment. That is why I am writing about it. I really try to write about it in the moment so you all know you aren’t alone out there with whatever you are feeling and dealing (with). Someone out there gets it – you may have to search for them, but I am guess you really don’t have to look that far. I know I am not doomed to fail. I will get up again tomorrow and hit it hard. I will get it done and it will be my best. The rest is out of my control. Anxiety is something I live with and I make it live with me. I recognize it but generally don’t let it define me. Sometimes it spirals but just steer into that skid and breathe. It will stop.