Pen to Paper…

…so to speak.

I think (as in all my posts) I need to write down my feelings. I hope the one person out there who needs to read this does. I know it’s over, you made that very clear, and I know it’s for the best for you, but I do love you and I really did try. I tried to be what you wanted and needed. I tried to move on your timeline and respect. I tried to live for you instead of me. When I started living for me it was not met with love. Maybe it was selfish, but someone had to live for me. Shouldn’t that be me? I am really sorry I failed you and left you wanting. I thought we would spend our lives together but it wasn’t meant to be. I wish you well and I really hope you find happiness. You are a good and kind man who deserves it. I love you and you will carry a piece of my heart probably forever. I am sorry it didn’t go the distance. I am sorry for all the ways I failed you and the relationship in all the ways you told me I have. I am sorry for not speaking up for myself sooner, maybe it could have worked out if I did. I am still here if you need a friend to talk to. I am happy to be your friend. Until then I wish you happiness and health.

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