…feeling destroyed and faking I’m fine.
This weekend was nuts. 10-13 hour days and very very crazy busy. I know people work harder and longer and I have a great job I love. I shouldn’t complain but holy shit my body is destroyed. The haul Covid makes everything so much harder. I push my mind past it while I need to (or at least I try) and when my mind comes back it feels like my body so dying. I have once again pushed it too far because I have no choice. I have to work and make money and I’m not making anyone else carry my weight. There is no long haul Covid sick leave. In my mind most people don’t even believe it’s real. If they do, they are frustrated I’m not better yet (again in my mind). I don’t wanna get fired and I really can’t afford to be fired for inability to physically perform my duties. There’s no protection for me so I will continue to slowly destroy myself and my body in order to be able to afford to be alive. I don’t know what else to do at this point so I’ll just keep swimming till I can’t.