I am arranging a steak dinner date tonight for me and my dude. I normally can’t really afford to take him out to much (as you all well know by now) so when I saw a Groupon for a steak dinner for two people that was in the price range I was psyched! This whole thing got me thinking about dating, dates, and what makes a date. While I love romantic, fun dates with my dude I think dating is a bigger concept.
I take myself on dates! I think dating yourself is super important. Mostly, I take myself on movie dates but I have been known to take myself out for a glass of wine as well. If you can’t enjoy your own company, why would anyone else? Plus you don’t have to share popcorn. So get out there and get to know yourself. Going out by yourself is important in my book. You shouldn’t miss out on doing something awesome because no one else is available to go with you. Don’t be afraid to date yourself.
Dates with your friends are super important as well. Schedule time and activities with your friends – they deserve it! Catch up on what is happening on your lives and just have fun- but do it on purpose. Your friends are great! Don’t they deserve the same time, consideration, and effort as your significant other? I know I couldn’t get my without my friends so I try my best to make efforts and time for them. Schedule a date with your friends and you might learn something new about them! You will definitely show them how much they mean to you.
Go on ‘dates’ with your family! Schedule time with individual family members and spend some one on one time together. You will be very glad you took the time and made the effort. I love spending one on one time with my family members. I am always surprised with the things I learn about people I have known all my life – all just by giving them my time and full attention. You can also schedule group dates with your whole family and do something fun and intentional together that isn’t based around a holiday or big life event (i.e. wedding, funeral, birthday, etc.).
I do think that no matter what type of date you are on that you should commit to putting your cell phone away. I don’t mean it banished but do put it away other than emergencies or looking up movie times. Give your ‘date’ your full attention and spend real time with them – even if it’s yourself.
Sometimes if feels like your life changes overnight and without warning (even when there is clearly some warning) and this happened to me this week. I am still try to recover from it and it might sound dramatic but it’s making me fee a lot of things.
Big Change #1
My boss is leaving. Some people consider this a big deal and others wont. For me, it is somewhere in between. I used to be quite close with her and we worked together well. That dynamic changed about 1.5 years ago but has been improving. Sometimes I am really sad she is leaving, others I am a bit relieved I wont be disappointing her anymore. This will come with a lot of added responsibility on me too which is totally freaking me out now that it’s really happening and not some hypothetical. I know I can do it and have the skill set but that doesn’t make it any less terrifying.
Big Change #2
My roommate is moving to Colorado. I know that roommates aren’t forever but I really like my roommates company and friendship. It is really hard to find someone you are compatible to live with and enjoy living with on top that. She is taking her pup with her which is just breaking my heart in two. Again, this was something I knew was coming but I got super emotional about and still kind of am.
With her removal from the apartment, I am left to make big choices I don’t particularly want to make (but that’s life I suppose). What do I do? I definitely can’t afford to live on my own to SoCal so as I see it these are my options. 1) Stay where I am and play roommate roulette (scary). 2) Move and play roommate roulette (scary and I have to move). 3) My dude and I move in together (not super scary but I have to move all my stuff, and are we ready for that?)
#3 is honestly my favorite choice but I don’t know if it’s the right one…especially for him. I need some solid ground to stand on and I would love for that to be this move and this relationship. As much as I want it though, I am not sure we are ready for that. Is it fair to ask him to jump into being ready for that? No. Can I help the situation I am in right now? No. Could pursuing this move make or break the relationship? Yes. It’s not easy all the way around. I want to do what is right for us and especially for him; his happiness is high on my priority list.
All of this has been really overwhelming for me these past few days. I seriously feel that I have a hit a breaking point and lost some of my control in setting my own p(e)ace. I feel a little lost and really, really need someone to just be there and help me talk it through to figure it out. But I can’t have hit a breaking point because right now there isn’t anyone who can be that person just inherently. My dude is actually doing a great job being this person but he still needs to think of himself (and I absolutely want him to do so) in the whole ‘should we move in situation’ so it’s hard for someone to think that through and be the person I blabber on to all the time…it’s a lot to ask of someone. *last night he was super sweet and said that in my silence he knew I needed him to tell me that we were okay so ‘We are okay’ and I looked at him and thought damn this man knows me and I could not adore him more in this moment* My best friend in the O.C. is going through the same loss of a boss and potential loss of a place to live (not same timing though to take my spare room). My roommate is dealing with moving to different state which exciting but is not easy (this I know). My family members have their own stuff to get through so I can’t bother them with any of this. How do you rely on yourself when yourself is kind of falling apart?
I am a ball of anxiety and I don’t know what to do. BUT I do know I will figure it out and just keep swimming. I will turn challenge to strength and prove I have guts and guile.