…little by little and a lot by a lot.

I had therapy this morning and our main topic of conversation is my last blog post about my night of waves of anxiety. By the end of the conversation it is muddy/clear. I do mean the contradiction of muddy/clear. I understand the reasons behind the anxiety, but at the same time they seem a bit ridiculous – which is generally the case with anxiety.

I was worried I would lose the stability I had found after all the change. I found a roommate who I know which was my number 1 option in finding a roommate. Not only do I know her but I genuinely enjoy her company. I couldn’t have asked for a better situation or new start in my home. My dude and I have been doing great. I mean it – really great. It’s been fun and light and everything I hoped our reset could be. Who gets their best case scenarios on changes in life and risks taken? I think I scared myself into waiting for that stability to go away or fall apart…which is silly. It’s creating worry that doesn’t need to be there. But that’s the rub because that is anxiety. Therapy has helped though and continues to help with the anxiety and overthinking.

Life does keep going though and those moments you aren’t quite ready for come closer. My apartment is filled with boxes and things are being divided. A friend moves away and new chapter starts.

Along with the moments you know are coming and want to delay or forget about come some great moments you wait for and others that are unexpected. Those moments this week have included an excited call from a friend because she was so happy, cooking dinner and having a dance party in my dudes kitchen, and watching Bachelor in Paradise with my roommate. What were yours?