Tag: donate blood

Having a Rough Go…

…and this a safe place to talk about it.

I am having a rough time lately and I don’t want to burden anyone with it. We all have our stuff right? I feel like this is a safe place to write about it and get it out of brain.

I have applied to so many jobs. SO many. I have had 2 interviews and no job offers. I know it’s a tough job market (especially for my field) but man it’s hard to try and try and keeping hitting walls. At the job I kind of have not (that I loved), I have so few hours that I barely work there. My program is essentially cut and it hurts really badly. I (and many others) worked so hard to build it and it’s all just gone. It’s a type of pain I can’t really describe. That probably sounds dramatic, but that’s how it feels. So I get shot down looking for other jobs and at my current one. That’s a lot of getting shot down. I will keep trying at both things no matter what, but it’s getting harder and harder.

I am out of unemployment benefits and I am really facing being homeless in two months. If you have read my previous entries, you know it’s top 3 of my worst fears. I have 2 months of rent left to be able to pay with what I have saved and that is scary AF. I worry and have anxiety everyday. I don’t sleep well anymore because I am constantly thinking about it.

I don’t feel like I can really talk about this with anyone around me. I worry they all will feel I have a hidden agenda of asking for money. I have tried so hard not to ask anyone for money and have only done so when it was dire need. So I just internalize all of this and feel myself shrink a little more everyday. I scheduled another blood donation appointment so I can get a $5 amazon gift card. It’s good that is also helps folks but I was gonna take a little break from donating blood because I can still see the hole in my arm from donating months ago, but I need that $5 socked away for any little thing I need but can’t afford, like deodorant, that might come up.

I know I am not alone in this worry and I know a lot of people go through it, especially during the pandemic. That helps a little but it’s horrible. I am going to work out and hope that helps my current mind set. I am trying to keep my positive attitude, but some days that is really hard to do.

Why are People Licking…

…weird things like toilet seats?

I have been seeing multiple weirdos posting videos of themselves licking super weird things – like toilet seats. WHY?! I mean the obvious answer is attention but is that really worth it? Is it a ploy to become some sort of weird influencer while most of what people can do is explore social media. But…I mean…under the best of conditions – why on Earth would you lick a toilet seat.

In other news – I donated blood today. This is something I do pretty regularly but it felt really good to do something productive with the extra time. Then I stopped at Costco to get the paper products that are hard to come by nowadays. I don’t want to be caught without toilet paper and no way to get it. When I arrived there was a long line but it moved quickly. It seems longer then it is because everyone has a cart. So I took a chance and got in the line. I got Charmin, Bounty paper towels, and Kleenex! I never thought I would be so happy to spend money on that stuff, but here we are. I am stocked on what I need and couldn’t be happier about that. It was a good way to spend part of my last okay paycheck and will hopefully see me through this pandemic. The people in line weren’t pushy. They weren’t friendly but not crazy either which is fine by me. I saw one of my volunteers while I was there which was nice and reminded me I once had a live and a job outside of this pandemic and gives me hope I will again soon. Maybe this Costco score was a good karma payback! Who knows.

Here’s to good karma…sorry this post wasn’t super exciting or emotional but that was my day and it was good. The world (and I) need every little piece of good available.