I Let Go…

…or at least I started to.

I was offered my old job for less pay, less hours, and less benefits (probably more work). I am quite sure it is everything they could have offered me in their current position, but I declined it. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the offer, but I just couldn’t go back to that level of stress for less then before (or what I had before). I gave so much of myself and my thoughts and stress to my old job that is was slowing taking pieces of my life outside of work (or not so slowly). I just can’t deal with that level of stress and no room for growth. I realized how horribly stressed I was with it once I didn’t have that job anymore. I have a new job where I am starting over, from the ground up, but I like it a lot. I get to teach again and there is room for growth. Plus, who doesn’t want to hang out with cool animals most of the day? They treat me well, train me, and ensure I am okay too. The commute is nuts, but I can move eventually to fix that. There is so much to learn at this position too! Once I leave that job, I get to leave it there – I don’t take it home and think about it all the time and stress dream about it all the time. I feel a little sad, a little scared, but mostly hopeful. My life thus far has been about taking leaps of faith and chances – why stop now? Here we go again! I do love it my life of leaping though 🙂

I will of course help put the person who takes it over onto the best path I can. I don’t want all of mine and my teammates hard work to be lost. Hopefully it helps them be in a better position then when we built it from the ground up. They need a person who needs the experience and learning factor, and will do that much work for the offered pay. That isn’t a bad thing. I was that person. This job gave me that experience. I am grateful. I am just ready for the next adventure.

My Happy Place Is…

…anywhere there is Halloween decor.

It sounds silly, but I am completely serious. I got to decorate for our Halloween event at work and it took me from a terrible mood to a great one. It helped me let go of the anxious thoughts running around in my brain. Walking around Michael’s with all of the Fall and Halloween decor is just bliss. I pick out all the things I would buy if I could and get a few small things that make me smile and I can afford. Seeing my neighbors decorations when I am out walking my dog is absolutely great. There is a whole grass part of the complex that is now dedicated to Halloween. The dollar store has pretty good affordable decorations. The value section of Target has one of my favorite new decorations this year, my bird wall. It’s black crows you bend and tape to look like they are flying. So cool! It all makes me incredibly happy. I imagine it’s how a lot of people feel about holiday displays or how I hear people describe visiting Disneyland. My twisted little heart loves Halloween.

I’m in Love…

…and I don’t care who knows it! (can you name that Christmas movie?)

I am taking a little inspiration from Buddy the Elf today and telling you that my dude and I are officially in love! I have been shy about writing about it for awhile. I think I was afraid if I did it might go away or if it ends then I will look stupid…but that’s kinda stupid so here I am writing about it.

As our anniversary approaches I have been thinking about how happy I am to be with my dude. The other day he ordered my khaki pants so I wouldn’t be cold at work on weekends. If that’s isn’t love I don’t know what is. He is always doing little sweet things to take care of me because that’s what love is…taking care of each other as best you can. We officially said “I love you” not too long ago. I think we’ve known for awhile but verbalizing it makes it super official. Being around him makes me feel calmer and more excited all at once. I can’t wait to spend our first Christmas officially together (even if I totally caved and already gave him his present). He reminds me it’s okay to set my own p(e)ace.

So why was I so afraid to write it down and put it out into the universe? Sure, it might not workout – but what if it does? So I am choosing to share my happiness now and work to ensure to lasts. It’s the season of love after all! Share the joy.

Don’t forget to start your advent calendars today.

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