Really Fucking Weird…

…talking to someone everyday for 3.5 years then not at all.

Being single again still feels a bit surreal. I know it’s for the best (particularly for him because I can’t give him what he wants) but it’s still really weird. I talked to this person everyday for 3.5 years. They were in my life in a big way, and now they are just gone. It’s a peculiar feeling that’s for sure. I reach for my phone every time something funny happens he’d appreciate. Then I remember I can’t reach out and tell him about whatever it is. And the empty feeling is so unfamiliar and odd. It’s not necessarily painful. I would call it hollow. If that makes any sense to you all. There is a just a hole in my life where he used to be. It will fill. I know it will over time. It’s just weird for now. One day it wont feel like a hole, one day I wont want to tell him the funny things that happen. I have done this song and dance before, but I really didn’t think I would be here again after I met him. But here we are. Life is weird – doesn’t work out how you see it in your mind. That is probably for the best. He will find someone better suited for his needs. I will go back to being me. Maybe I will find someone who likes me for me – maybe not. But it will be okay either way.

Oh the wisdom