A Sense of Purpose…

…has given me hope for a new window opening after all the closing doors.

This past couple of week I have felt I have a new sense of purpose again. I have been getting more shifts at work which has been really nice. Helping people and providing them with a fun and educational experience during a time when folks really need it has been really nice. I am always surprised with how good that feels (not matter how long I have been doing it). I got another part time job which is going to be super fun and fulfilling (I hope). I will tell you more about that after it’s firm. I have been getting more interviews and inquiries which gives me a lot of hope. I still haven’t heard from the listing I SUPER want, but I have hope about it. If not, another window will open I am sure. It’s great to feel a little hope and optimism again. That sounds kind of sad but it’s true. Getting into a set workout routine with goals has helped tremendously as well. My body is tired and sore but in a good way. It is also helping with my self body image. I feel better about myself which is great. Do I really look better? Who knows, who cares. I feel better and for right now that is more then enough. I look forward to more windows opening with the closing of other doors.

Living ‘The Last Five Years…’

…from Jamie’s perspective with Kathy’s role being played by my work place.

For those who haven’t seen it, The Last Five Years is a great musical that is about a five years of a relationship told from the perspective of the man and woman living it. Jamie, the man tells his story from start to finish and Kathy, the woman tells her story from finish to start. They are telling two different versions of the same story. That doesn’t mean that either version is wrong or false, they are just different. Their love starts strong and hopeful and their lives just grow apart and their love changes. I don’t want to say it fades, it just doesn’t work together anymore. It was also made into a movie with Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan (swoon) that is on Netflix. Beautiful and worth a watch.

So what does this have to do with my work and I’s relationship — a lot turns out. I started working at my current employer five years ago today. I am excited and hopeful about the job and I felt welcomed and that folks were excited to have me there. We went on like that for about 3 years. Excited and hopeful. Then me and my work started growing apart. By year five, I barely have any hours and I am clearly not missed by my place of work and honestly, I don’t miss it that much either. I am looking for new job opportunities, having been basically dumped by last one after trying to work it out so hard for what feels like forever. I am sure if I had my work’s perspective it would be just as valid (like in the play).

This parallel came to my mind today and I wanted to put the thought down before I forgot it. It’s not that I hate my place of work or anything. It’s just I don’t want to be somewhere I am so easily deleted and forgotten. Something I invested so much time and effort into, erased. It’s not fun but I learn, I do my best while still there, and I look to the future. All we can do right?