Pushed it Too Far Yesterday…

…planting trees with long COVID.

We had our first big planting event of the season last year and it nearly killed me. It’s an incredibly physically demanding day. About half way through my fatigue really set in, but there was no choice but to continue with my very physical day. Afterwards it’s was hard to move and that is not an exaggeration in any way. My muscle not only ached but burned and felt tight all at the same time. I was also just plain exhausted. All I could do was hang out on the couch and watch TV. I went to bed at 7:30 pm and was asleep by 8:30 pm. I am slightly better today, but not by a lot. I am at least functional. Can this long COVID please just go away now? Haven’t I payed my dues? After work today, I will spend the rest of my weekend resting in attempt to survive next week. Wish me luck.

I Tried So Hard Not To Write This…

…but daylight savings time is terrible!

I know, I know…you are sick of me writing the same post twice a year. I tried really hard not to and to get on board with the time change. Yes there is more sunlight in the evenings. But, what if you are a morning person?! You have less sunlight. I am walking my dog in the dark again. It’s harder to get up because it’s pitch dark when I need to get up. There used to be a bit of sunlight to help wake my booty up. I go to bed later and it’s harder to get up. This daylight savings thing is so stupid. Particularly, if you grew up not participating in it. Let’s say in Arizona. I know there are so many larger world issues right now and I shouldn’t complain about something so trivial, but it’s annoying.

3.5 Hours of Sleep…

…is just not enough for a 35 year old me.

I got called into work last night and worked until 10:00 pm, then had an hour drive home. So I got home around 11:00 pm but had to eat, brush my teeth, and calm down. So I am in my bed at 12:00 pm. I have to be up at 3:45 am to leave my house by 4:30 am to be at work by 5:45 am. At best, that is just shy of four hours of sleep. I started down the mental road of I have to fall asleep ASAP because I only have 3 hours and 45 minutes to sleep and so it went until about 1:00 am which put me under three hours of sleep. Then I drove and hour for my first job and after that went to my second job. I am so tired and as young as I feel in my head, I am definitely older then that. I need more sleep! Is anyone else a terrible napper? I wake up wondering what century I am in. I know I should nap, but it feels risky. Maybe if I just lay down and rest a bit. All I can think is DAMN I thought I was past the point in my life where I worked two jobs and had shifts everyday. In grad school, I had full time school, a part time internship, a part time job, and a relationship. I have no idea how I made all that work. My goodness. I suppose the conclusion here is I am old and sleepy. I have enjoyed this flashback to being young with two jobs, but I think I am ready for on full time one again.

Watching A Clock Once Again…

…sucks!

During quarantine I did not have to keep an eye on the clock at all times. It was actually one of the few perks. I ate when I was hungry and slept when I was tired. I didn’t have meetings and appointments to keep track of all day everyday (except my live streamed workout class). It was freeing. Now my life to back to constantly watching a clock – mostly for work stuff like meetings, when to take lunch (there are restrictions), not going into OT, and for calculating how much sleep I need to get. If I wake up later and clock in later then I am signing myself up to work later. It’s exhausting after the nice break of not watching it.

I think that was really the first time in my adult life I have not had to hawk eye a clock. Even on vacation I had to watch for flight times, rush hour, when a happy hour starts and ends, when an activity or ticket is. I never realized how much control that clock has over my life and stress level. Now that I do and know I am basically powerless to it, it doesn’t feel great.

Anyway gotta go because that is the end of the 10 minute break and 1.68 hours until my 30 minute lunch. Alarms and clock are setting my p(e)ace and I am not sure I am okay with it…

This is Going to Sound Selfish…

…but I have kind of enjoyed the time this pandemic has provided me.

Don’t get me wrong – I wish all the sick folks weren’t sick and that no one had died – but I have enjoyed having some time for me and my things and for my dude. We had such different schedules that I hardly ever saw him. I sort of wondered if we would be okay if we spent this much time together but it turns out we are better then okay. We are communicating better then ever and I miss him when we are apart. The time together has made out relationship stronger somehow. I enjoyed sleeping all I wanted and feeling rested when I woke up. I enjoyed not stressing about EVERY little and big thing at work. There are so many things I have missed too with the state essentially being shut down, but it wasn’t all bad from my little corner of the world. Does anyone feel this way? Am I crazy?

A Reason To Stay…

…in bed.

I have always been the type of person that is awake the second their eyes open. I never much cared to linger in bed too much – until now. I am consistently sleeping in the same bed as someone I love and it’s so much harder to get out of bed in the morning, especially on weekends. I love just laying there next to him and being in a sleepy, cozy state. It’s warm and comforting. Also, because we work different days we don’t get a whole lot of time to linger in bed together. One of us always has to get up and go to work. So I just try to soak in as much of it as I can before I absolutely have to get up. I have pretty much given up breakfast so I can spend more time doing that. It sound kinda cookey, but it’s true. I never knew it was what I wanted but it is 🙂 So here is to staying in the warm, cozy places as long as you possibly can.

When setting your own p(e)ace is wearing you out…

I am truly and utterly exhausted at the moment and it is almost entirely my own fault, and I know it. This sentiment is true of me right now, but also of those around me. I have listened to and commiserated with many of my friends and coworkers on this very topic. There are so many commitments this time of year and time of life…weddings, graduations, baby showers, visiting family, etc. This is all on top of work (which I need to pay for all those other things) and my regular life. Between the things I really wanted to do this week and things I must do (work) I am officially wondering if my current p(e)ace is too much for me. If it is, how do I slow it down without missing out on opportunities and experiences? I truly want to know you opinion and suggestions on this. How do you keep your balance while setting your own p(e)ace?

I thought the quote below really applied to my thoughts on sleep lately. But when does the need for sleep become more important than experiences? I have a hard time drawing this line because as much as I love sleep, I can’t pass up on a great experience.

I love my sleep, but sometimes you just have to have fun late nights!

I would love for you to share your thoughts and wisdom on this topic in the comments section.

P.S. As I mentioned I am sleep deprived at the moment so I apologize for any glaring typos or bad grammar.