I saw a preview for an episode of And Just Like That and Charlotte said something that really, really stuck with me. I can’t recall the exact quote but it was along the lines of “You know what. Women apologize to the whole world all day long, every day and I am sick of it. Sorry, not sorry.” It hit my like a truck. She’s right. Completely and utterly right. I spend my whole day apologizing for either perceived wrong doings or out of worry I have or will offend someone simply by existing as myself. Shit my job is 50% apologizing (most customer service is right?). It devalues apologies and their sincerity. Why is it women always apologizing? Men definitely don’t apologize for everything they do. Don’t get me wrong, if I have wronged you I will whole heartedly apologize; I am just done apologizing for all the rest of it. I am done apologizing for speaking my mind and relating my feelings. I am done apologizing for things that aren’t my fault. I am done apologizing for taking up space. I. am. done. apologizing. all. the. time.
Women face a lot of pressure from
family and friends in all stages of life sadly. I was always told to get
married before you’re an old maid, or have kids before you are too old, and
well you should quit your job and stay home with your baby. I didn’t do what
was expected but I did what was best for me and my family.
I didn’t quit my job even though
many thought I would after my baby was born. I went back to work and plan on
working my 30 years until retirement. Friends and fellow mom’s kept telling me that
I might change my mind once I’m home with baby or when I have to send the baby
to daycare. They kept telling me “how could you allow a stranger to raise your
child?” I would always pause and think about this and even started to doubt
myself four months after my baby was born. I thought was I not a good mom
because I didn’t want to stay at home with my child 24/7?
After getting back into a healthy
workout routine, I looked around one day and said no, I KNOW I’m doing the
right thing by being a working mom. So many stay at home moms (SAHMs) keep
telling me I don’t know what it is like to be a full-time mom and it’s harder
than having a job. I just let them vent and I moved about my life. I asked one
SAHM mom once well, what is your plan once the kids are in school? Will you go
back to work? She replied no, why would I do that?
Being a mom has made me
re-evaluate my priorities in life. I
decided the top things in my life are my marriage (spouse, myself and our
health), my kid(s), my family and friends, and lastly my job (in order to have
the means to live the lifestyle we want and to travel the world).
I’m not just a mom but I am so much more, I am a wife, a daughter, a friend, an individual, an athlete, a pet mom, a cook, etc. I didn’t let starting a family define who I am and that being ONLY a mom. I don’t like that the mom community forces you to choose a side of being a SAHM or a working-mom. Why can’t we all just be called a MOM, plus so many other things? It could be written Mom+
I know my child will be stronger and well-rounded because they have two working parents. Two parents that will be able to provide for them and show them the world. If that makes us BOTH selfish parents then I guess we are and that is okay with us. Why you ask? Because we decided our OWN path.
In today’s world I don’t see the need to RUSH everything. I don’t understand why people RUSH to get engaged and are in a RUSH to have kids and a RUSH to buy a house and etc. Why not slow down and enjoy life and do it YOUR WAY and SET YOUR OWN P(E)ACE. Make your own timeline and own path and NEVER apologize for it or let alone have people tell you to settle, don’t ever SETTLE.
This is the last post I have from Charlotte, but she may agree to write more for us if you show here some love in the comments section!