I Love My Couch…

…but it’s not really about my couch is it?

My couch and I are going to have some quality time together. I don’t have a dining room table or a desk so it’s my work center, my entertainment lounge, and my main living space for the foreseeable future. I love my couch – it’s beautiful, it came with pillows, and it’s comfortable. But that is a small piece of why I love my couch. The bigger reason is that it was a gift from my brother when I really needed it. It holds love and support and belief in my life out here in California. I know that is a lot for a couch to represent but it’s true. I fit on this couch and it’s way to fit into my family when we aren’t together. It’s a place to fit when I displaced from other places I fit but don’t at the moment. When I feel unwelcome other places it’s here to give me comfort in more ways then one. So thanks for being all that in piece of furniture.

Where is your safe place that you fit?

Every Time I Try to Get Back on Track with…

…fitness something happens.

I love my RIPPED class. We’ve talked about it before so I wont reiterate that part. BUT back in September a series of unfortunate events lead me to only be able to attend sporadically. The first hurdle was financial. I simply couldn’t afford the membership at the time. Many people came together to ensure that I could continue on my fitness journey – but not till October. So I start attending again in October when I twist my ankle and suddenly I am out for another 2.5 weeks. I get back for two classes and I get 10 day viral plague which knocks me out of another two weeks of classes. I recover and head back to RIPPED and bam another foot injury. That heals about 3 weeks later and I am back at class once again. I think yeah…this is where I get back in the groove and 2 weeks later and PANDEMIC hits and shuts down all classes. I feel like I may never get back into my workout routine. I did the eliptical and tread mill and rowing machine which helped but not quite the same love or workout high as RIPPED. With gyms now shut down I am back to walking. I enjoy walking and feel better about doing something, anything but it isn’t the workout I want to be doing. This is not only for physical health (and feeling better about my appearance) but about my mental health. RIPPED is a release and helps me manage my anxiety. I don’t think I quite realized how much it helps until these past few months.

For now I suppose my walks will have to do. I hope we can get back to the little things that keep us sane soon.

ALSO – since writing this they are offering streaming classes a couple of times a day which is awesome for free. It helps a lot. Another way to be #alonetogether

I Have Seen Creativity…

…kindness, family time, and so much more during this time of self quarantine.

I went on a 5 mile walk today (it’s easier with all this time and a beach nearby) and got to thinking about some of the good side effects of this self quarantine. Keep in mind I am in no way saying that a pandemic or quarantines are good, especially for my salary, but I do think it has helped bring out peoples creativity and an opportunity for family time (of course I say this as someone who isn’t trapped at home with kids all day).

I see so many more family units on walks, at the park, playing catch, and doing all kinds of things. It’s a really cool thing to witness. When I was a kid there weren’t nearly as many options to stare at screens so I played outside a lot. I hadn’t seen much of that – in fact I have had a hard time getting them off their phone when whales and other cool animals are in front of them. So seeing them all out, together, playing and running and having fun is cool

My friends, and people of social media, are SO creative! Especially with their kiddos and keeping them happy and entertained. They had a ‘baking show’ where they live streamed and hosted the show while making cookies, they turned their kids into robots with makeup, the arts and crafts projects are off the charts! It’s so cool to see. They have quarantine date ideas. My favorite suggestion I will be trying to to build a fort and have a picnic in it. That sounds awesome!

As for me, turns out I am a master brunch chef. Seriously my brunches have been good and pretty good for us! Now all I need is a mimosa.

I know it isn’t the best circumstance to have all of this creativity and quality time flowing, but maybe when this is all over we can keep of the things we learned in our everyday lives.

Why I Love Museums Day…

…in self quarantine.

I saw online that today is ‘Why I love Museums Day’ which I didn’t know was a thing – you would think I would as I work in museums. It did get my thinking though (also this is my second post for the day so thanks and congrats if ya made it through both) about my line of work and my line of work right now. I LOVE museums. From the moment I walked into one it felt like i fit there. I remember one moment in particular at the Musical Instrument Museum during my internship. I was walking through the education collection, looking for items for something I can’t even remember now, and I knew it was where I fit in the world. It was not my usual museum setting. I am in informal education so usually it’s loud, rushed, and super fast paced fun. At the moment I was in the collections area. It was dark, cold, and so quiet and in that moment it was just reaffirmed to me that I was where I was supposed to be and on the career path I needed to be on. I have that same feeling after any program – not as intense as the start but it’s still there. That is one reason I LOVE museums.

Even today, in this crisis, typing this from my couch without a paycheck – I still love my line of work. It’s work worth doing. Keeping history alive and bringing it alive for others – holding history in your hands – there is NOTHING like it. Having a living collection and protecting and educating about those animals and about the environment feels like I am making small changes to the world through small inspirations. Please, please don’t let museums and nonprofits die in this pandemic – it would be doing the world a diservice. I know we are all in a tough spot, but support them as you can. I promise it’s worth it.

Role Models in the Public Eye…

…during a pandemic

Woolworth’s Launches ‘Elderly-Only’ Shopping Hour To Ensure Seniors Get Supplies

This entry is a little different. This role model isn’t a person, it’s a store. Woolworths has created an hour of shopping for elderly and disbaled in this time of panic shopping. They have great potential to make nothing but crazy profit but they are looking after their customers who need it. I admire that so much – if I lived in Australia I would shop exclusively there for this reason alone. More stores should follow suit to see those who need it through this pandemic and not resort to finding toilet paper alternatives.

I know that some of the shelves are still bare but at least they are trying. What else can we do but try?

More stores have followed in suit since I started writing this yesterday! More signs of accomodation and kindness in the world!

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/coronavirus-senior-hours-grocery-stores-reserve-shopping-hours-for-at-risk-people-during-covid-19-outbreak/

Little Signs…

…of hope for humanity.

Panic shopping has been all over the news lately – specifically with the hoarding of everyday needed items like toilet paper. The ones that hit the hardest are the elderly looking for toilet paper substitutes because other bought way more then they needed. Things like this show a really bad side of humanity in crisis. It’s a true side but really makes me question our values.

On my walk this morning I went by little signs that there are still awesome people in the world. I walked past a little sign in someone’s yard that read “This house believes…that love is love, science is real” and things of the like. I really enjoyed seeing it, reading it, and wondered about the family that lived there. I hope they have kids because they seem like the type of people who should and would raise good kids to be good and compassionate adults.

A little ways down the sidewalk I saw a little library in someones yard. For those that don’t know a little library is a free library where you take a book and drop one off. Sharing adventures in the form of books in a world where we are mostly trapped in the house for the foreseeable future is just a wonderful concept. This person took the time to build it, paint it super cute, and a very cool decal, stock it, and register it just to help people read for free; that’s pretty freakin cool.

I also saw a lot of people walking their dogs, walking with their kids and significant others, and kids actually playing outside. It was a pretty cool site. Keep up the kindness folks and spare a square of toilet paper for a neighbor if they need it.

Anxiety is Kind of Like a Champagne Waterfall…

…it cascades layer by layer and could end in a bunch of broken glasses and wasted champagne.

When I am very anxious about one thing, it tends to waterfall into all my other avenues of anxiety. I am currently anxious about what everyone is anxious about – the pandemic and it’s affects on life, specifically my financial life. Work shut down today – and suddenly all my worst what if’s of the latest anxiety started becoming reality. How will I pay rent? I have previously written that even in the worst of times, I have grateful to have a roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in. I see that disappearing. (I know my family will help me but they are going through their own stuff and I don’t want to ask). The first time I can recall feeling anxiety was when I was little and learned about and saw homeless people. It shot up to the number one fear in my life – growing up to be homeless. I know I have a few options before that happens but boy does it feel super real right now.

This anxiety is cascading into my other avenues of anxiety (which are a bit more practical but that makes it easier for them to affect my actions. Last night I turned to my dude and said “don’t hate me but I have to run home and make sure I blew the candle out.” I was sure that I had done it but that one anxious thought took my brain over and changed my course of action. I had to come check – there was no other way to end the thought quickly. My dude was totally understanding and awesome and even came with me, but I am sure I looked like a bit of a crazy person. Also, to pinch pennies I am putting my therapy on hold. I can’t afford expenses that don’t pertain to rent or food or sanity (aka wine). So I will have to employ the tools I have learned and hope that’s enough to get through this anxiety champagne waterfall.

I am really hoping that none of my other glasses break in this champagne fountain, but if they do I can handle it. I hope – I know I will but a little hope never heard anyone.

…

Who Knows What to Believe…

…and what not too.

The whole Corona Virus, panic purchasing, and seeing the ugly side of humanity in the US has me questioning what to trust and what not too.

Seems to me that mass buying toilet paper is not the answer to anyone’s problems here. I went the grocery store at 7:12 am to buy a diet coke and donut and it was already cleaned out. The nice lady at the register said she worked 12 hours yesterday because of all the demand. I know it’s an intimidating thing, the outfall of a pandemic, but does there need to be this much panic yet? Do we need 150 rolls of toilet paper and screw anyone who couldn’t get to the store in time (like the elderly or families with kids)? I understand providing for yourself and you family in scary times – a plan b is great – but let’s not forget there are other people in this world to take care of.

All the news, social media, etc are all corona virus, toilet paper all the time. I know it isn’t helping the situation but it makes it even harder to know what to believe and what not too. How panicked should I really be? How prepared should I really be? Even with everything the CDC released to help people prepare and be safe people are still freakin’ me out. No where in those instructions did it say wipe the stores out of TP and any paper product or deli meat. Is this all just paranoia or is it as bad as panic shoppers are making it seem? I have no idea because I am so confused with every new or different story out there.

Also, if I am buying things I think might not be available in the future I am personally hitting the produce section. If anything is gonna go away it’s healthy, fresh food. I know people want stuff that isn’t perishable but you can eat the fruits and veggies now…

Also – I had a bad day a few days ago and my dude went to the store and got me trash bags and paper towels (need both) while he was shopping. I truly think that was so freakin’ cute and romantic and I really appreciated it. Especially in the times and panic around paper products right now. If that ain’t love I don’t know what is?

What do you all think??

When Your Livelihood Depends On People Going Out…

…and there is a pandemic.

I KNOW I am not alone on this so I wanted to share some fears I am having with the current situation with Corona Virus. I work in an industry that depends on people leaving their homes and coming to a public space daily and for large events. The Corona Virus stuff (even if you feel it’s a media thing or a real thing or what) is a very real problem in my world right now. It’s causing all kinds of chaos – particularly in my brain. What if I can’t work? How will I pay bills? Do I need to move home to Phoenix? WTF am I gonna do in PHX when all public facing jobs wont be hiring? This is the type of panic running around in my brain at the moment. I know a lot of you out there are experiencing the same thing and are in the same situation. I just wanted you to know you aren’t alone. The best I can do is take it one day at a time and be grateful for everyday I get to go to work and make money to live. I am also grateful I bought toilet paper from Costco before this all went down ;).

Physical Symptoms of…

…stress!

Work has been more then stressful lately. Between major projects and my usual work I have absolutely zero free time – working most days – long days. I know I am not alone here but working with this much to do under such a short timeline on something so important is soooo stressful. That stress is starting to physically manifest in my body. My shoulder muscles feel like a rubber band that is about snap, my stomach is all in knots, my digestive system is a freaking mess, and I have a racing heart most of the time (especially when I lay down at night).

My recent vacation really helped but now that I am back in the thick of it all of those symptoms are back. I have to tell my heart to slow down when I lay down – I mean really think about it to get it to slow down.

I forgot to mention that I have put on weight due to stress eating. It’s a real thing! Dear lord is it a real thing.

I know my mind is manifesting these symptoms and they aren’t a sign I am phsyically ill, but that doesn’t make them any less real. Reminds me of one of my favorite HP quotes.

Image result for harry potter is it all happening in my head

Do you have physical symptoms of stress? If so, what are they and how do you cope?