…nope not a Bible passage- just the time in the morning I’m awake.

I actually woke up at 3:45 am. I’m just coherent enough to write on it now. This is the 2nd biggest issue with having a long commute. My early shift days are really f*cking early. And I have this shift for three more straight days after this. Hello 8:45 pm bed time!

I will say it’s better then the later shift on weekends because of one thing: traffic. It takes at least twice as long to get there on weekend afternoons. I would rather have sleep deprivation and no traffic then lose an extra hour or more to the 5 freeway.

Once I get there it’s pretty awesome though.

Audible with Andrea…

…’All Grown Up.’

My new, long commute has provided me with the opportunity to pick audible back up. I can only listen to so much music and audio books are easier to focus on in traffic and help keep my calmer. My first book was called ‘All Grown Up’ by Jami Attenberg.

I found a lot of the things addressed in the book to ring true to me as a single, childless woman in my mid 30’s. One was that your friends sort of disappear when they have kids. They don’t mean to and you don’t mean to lose touch with them, it is just sort of what happens. Your lives are just so different and how you spend your time is so different. Your priorities are just different, not better or worse, just different. She also address that the first thing people think when they think of her is that she is single. She lists all of the the other qualities they could think of when they think of her, but no the leading trait is ‘single.’ I definitely relate to that. She also has a funny take on being at the singles table at wedding that was amusing and not entirely untrue.

Overall, it was a little bit of a downer for me to fully recommend to you. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, but the main character really gives up on a lot of her own dreams – for not awesome reasons and I found it frustrating. She was also a terrible member of her family, not really being there for anyone. I downloaded the book a few years ago and never got around to listening to it. I suspect I downloaded it because the main Character’s name is Andrea and I sort of expected a Sex and The City vibe (which it is not…although there is a fair amount of sex).

Still waiting for my strong character with my name. I just started listening to ‘The Midnight Library’ by Matt Haig and I will keep you posted on my thoughts there!

Driving, Driving…

…and more driving! That is my current life.

I have never been a big fan of driving. In fact, it is a main source of my anxiety. I am afraid of hurting someone (not myself, but others – not that I don’t value myself, it just isn’t what my anxiety floats around). Moving to California only increased that anxiety. Y’all are kinda crazy drivers and the traffic is heavy. Lately, I have been driving at least two hours everyday with my new commute. My longest one way drive has been 2.15 hours (1.75 of that trapped in traffic on the five). Audio books and the no commercial Pandora help, but it is still a lot of driving. I love this new job though so that makes it easier to get into my car knowing what is ahead. I a really hoping I don’t get fatigued with the drive. I can’t move to Escondido for a seasonal job (I am really hoping they keep me on beyond the season). The commute on top of the very physical job (which I love) is just exhausting me a little after a pretty sedentary year. I am incredibly grateful for the work, especially at this awesome job, I just so wish it was closer. I am hoping that once I am used to working a lot again that the commute will just be something I do and not something I have to do. On the bright side my car gets good gas mileage. I know others who work there have a similar commute and that is good to know and good to commiserate with them. To have a group of folks who love their work so much that they are willing to make the same time sacrifice is awesome.

I am so grateful though to feel useful again and be able to put my skills into practice. It feels good. Also, it feels good to pay rent. Between my two jobs I almost had my whole rent payment (only had to dip into my savings a little). I know that sounds sarcastic, but it’s not. Grateful for every penny.