Daylight Savings Time Strikes Again…

…and it’s gonna be rough!

My new part time job has shifts that start at 5:45 am which is early, but not the end of the world. I live an hour away (without traffic – which shouldn’t be a problem that early). My first one of these shifts is tomorrow aka daylight savings time…where we lose an hour…cool. Individually all of these things are fine (except the stupid time change). Together they suuuuuuuck. This is going to be rough. I will be lucky to get 4-5 hours of sleep. Whose going to sleep at 9:00 pm?! This woman! More accurately, I am going to lay in bed at 9:00 pm and hopefully fall asleep by 10:00 pm and get up at 3:45 am. Which would be 5 hours and 45 minutes, not ideal but enough sleep, BUT BAM stupid daylight savings and now it’s under 5 hours of sleep. DANG YOU DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!!!!!!!

Additionally, I will be worried my phone wont change the time correctly and I’ll be late. Or wont wake up despite my 3 alarms. So this is gonna be real interesting.

curse you daylight savings time!! - Curse you Aqua Scum | Meme Generator

My dude walked in with a surprise box of thin mints which helps a little lol

Having a Rough Go…

…and this a safe place to talk about it.

I am having a rough time lately and I don’t want to burden anyone with it. We all have our stuff right? I feel like this is a safe place to write about it and get it out of brain.

I have applied to so many jobs. SO many. I have had 2 interviews and no job offers. I know it’s a tough job market (especially for my field) but man it’s hard to try and try and keeping hitting walls. At the job I kind of have not (that I loved), I have so few hours that I barely work there. My program is essentially cut and it hurts really badly. I (and many others) worked so hard to build it and it’s all just gone. It’s a type of pain I can’t really describe. That probably sounds dramatic, but that’s how it feels. So I get shot down looking for other jobs and at my current one. That’s a lot of getting shot down. I will keep trying at both things no matter what, but it’s getting harder and harder.

I am out of unemployment benefits and I am really facing being homeless in two months. If you have read my previous entries, you know it’s top 3 of my worst fears. I have 2 months of rent left to be able to pay with what I have saved and that is scary AF. I worry and have anxiety everyday. I don’t sleep well anymore because I am constantly thinking about it.

I don’t feel like I can really talk about this with anyone around me. I worry they all will feel I have a hidden agenda of asking for money. I have tried so hard not to ask anyone for money and have only done so when it was dire need. So I just internalize all of this and feel myself shrink a little more everyday. I scheduled another blood donation appointment so I can get a $5 amazon gift card. It’s good that is also helps folks but I was gonna take a little break from donating blood because I can still see the hole in my arm from donating months ago, but I need that $5 socked away for any little thing I need but can’t afford, like deodorant, that might come up.

I know I am not alone in this worry and I know a lot of people go through it, especially during the pandemic. That helps a little but it’s horrible. I am going to work out and hope that helps my current mind set. I am trying to keep my positive attitude, but some days that is really hard to do.