Does Anyone Else Have This…

…as their first thought when a family event is scheduled?

I have a cousin getting married in September and my first thought was how much weight can I lose by then and what would it take? That is my first thought before a lot of family events/holidays. Why is that? My own insecurity I suppose. I don’t think my family really cares (might judge a bit). What am I trying to prove or avoid? If you are a single woman in your 30’s is this thought more prominent? Am I trying to prove that I am not single because I ugly? Maybe. Doesn’t seem real healthy – mentally. Just wondering if I am alone in this or if it’s common.

First Steps Into…


I entered 2020 the same way I left 2019 – with a cold. Most people would consider this a bad thing, and while I admit the being sick part isn’t my favorite, it came a not so bad source – my nephew lol. I couldn’t not eat the half slobbered food he offered me because he was so cute! Also, did not like it when I fake ate the food so I had to real eat it. Also, it showed me that my dude is not only willing to stay in with sick me on New Years Eve but braved the grocery store to get my a pizza and Benadryl and took care of me for the rest of the night. Is he a keeper or what?

I have worked through the cold because you can’t call out on January 1 or you look like a hungover, irresponsible asshole. So I went to work and ended up having to leave early to rest. I felt a bit better then woke up this morning feeling like almost complete crap. None the less I got up, got dressed, and went to work. I hope I don’t get anyone there sick.

I only have one goal for 2020 which is to drink more water. Although I have entered back into intermittent fasting to help drop some of the holiday/dumb food choices weight. Interestingly enough I am losing my taste for chips. I bought a big bag and after having a few I found them overwhelmingly greasy. So I am going to lean into this. I want to get a bento lunch box so I have controlled portions and a variety of things to eat. Nothing drastic or crazy to drop the weight by small and real changes I can stick to. This said, when I really want to eat the piece of cake I am going to eat it without guilt (to quote my mom). I don’t want to be a resolutionist reacting to the poor eating during the holidays and run to the gym. In fact, I am skipping RIPPED tonight because of the cold. No use hurting myself to meet an obsessive short term goal. Took time to put the weight on and will take time to take it off; until then I intend to enjoy the body I am in.

How’s your 2020 going so far?

A Physical Challenge…

…and a reality check!

This weekend was Tallships Festival which is an incredibly physical event. I walked over 20,000 steps per day always go go go. This event provided me with a reality check on my current physical health and weight. I know I have put on weight in the last year, I am not blind – but man by the end of those festival days I was dead on my feet. I felt pain in the bottom of my feet and my knees and that is due to the extra weight.

Please don’t get me wrong – I love and appreciate my body at pretty much any weight. I carry a little extra weight well in the looks department. My body has gotten me around for 33 years and given me all I need to live my life. Extra weight will never make me hate it or pick at it. The regular sex is proof I am still damn cute and feel cute. This isn’t about being skinny and conforming to that. This is about health and living up to my potential physically.

So it’s time do something for my physical health and how I feel. It’s time to eat a little better (I am not on board with drastic, crazy diets I can’t maintain), and getting more physical. This is where my Halloween 5K challenge to myself comes in! I HATE RUNNING! Seriously hate it – but I am going to prove I can do it. When I meet this challenge I will be in a better place physically. Today is day one of training. I will keep you posted on the progress.

I will never give up my chips, but it’s time to ration them for awhile 😉