Audible with Andrea…

…Counting the Cost by Jill Dillard

Like most of the world I watched the shows about the Duggars (or at least some of them). I watched as the horrific events unfolded and justice was served to one who deserved it. Did I listen to this book because I am already invested in the story or entertainment? I don’t really know. Was it earth shattering? No. Was it enlightening and helped clarify Jill’s point of view? Yes. What I liked about it is she took it upon herself to give herself a voice and platform. She wasn’t vengeful or hateful in her tone and talked about the good as well as the bad. It was nice balance and overall a good and short listen.

Lyrics to Live By…

…Lose Control performed by Teddy Swims (all love songs lately – see a theme?)

Something’s got a hold of me lately
No, I don’t know myself anymore
Feels like the walls are all closing in
And the devil’s knocking at my door, whoa

Out of my mind, how many times
Did I tell you I’m no good at being alone?
Yeah, it’s taking a toll on me, trying my best to keep
From tearing the skin off my bones, don’t you know

I lose control
When you’re not next to me
I’m falling apart right in front of you, can’t you see?
I lose control
When you’re not next to me, mm-hmm
Yeah, you’re breaking my heart, baby
You make a mess of me

Problematic
Problem is I want your body like a fiend, like a bad habit
Bad habit’s hard to break when I’m with you
Yeah, I know, I could do it on my own, but I want
That real full moon black magic and it takes two

Problematic
Problem is when I’m with you, I’m an addict
And I need some relief, my skin in your teeth
Can’t see the forest through the trees
Got me down on my knees, darling, please, oh

I lose control
When you’re not next to me
I’m falling apart right in front of you, can’t you see?
I lose control
When you’re not next to me, mm-hmm
Yeah, you’re breaking my heart, baby
You make a mess of me, yeah

I lose control
When you’re not here with me, mm
I’m falling apart right in front of you, can’t you see?
I lose control
When you’re not here with me, mm-hmm
Yeah, you’re breaking my heart, baby
You make a mess of me

Songwriters: Joshua Coleman / Julian Bunetta / Mikky Ekko / Marco Rodriguez / Jaten Dimsdale

Another Infection…

…in my ear this time around.

I now have an ear infection and am on antibiotic ear drops. Wooooo. Another trip to urgent care and the pharmacy. I do have the best man and friend in the world though who put ten ear drops each in my ears since then hahahaha It’s way easier to have someone else do it. It’s really nice to have these fine folks in my life who love me enough to do that for me. I will write about the move later – but know that I am moved in and exhausted. But happy to be living with my man and starting our joint lives.

How I Know He’s It…

…one of many reasons anyway.

I was reminded this weekend why he’s the one. I had all my fears bubble over and spill right out of my mouth, not always in the kindest or best communicated manner. He listened and reassured and was there. Calm, welcoming and wonderful. Didn’t phase him – he didn’t blink or balk. Woke up in the morning and did the same. Reassured me he wants me – all of me. Good Bad ALL. I have waited like a million years for this and it’s so awesome. Just happy – even if moving is the worst. Almost done though. First time I have lived with a para more so yay! Another first 🙂 Yay for fun first. More to come.

And just as I finished this post and thought he couldn’t be any fucking better – he gets better. He goes out of his way to show me all the ways he wants me in his life. No nagging or asking necessary – he wants me and us and gets it. AMAZING.

Thank You To the Mom on the Plane…

…you saved the day!

I have always said small acts of kindness are actually BIG and I recently had an incident that proved it. It also proved Mom’s are the best. We were on the flight home and I was zoning out – like I do on bumpy plane rides – and when I looked over my boyfriend had a nose bleed that was was quickly getting worse. We were still all buckled up no flight attendants were too. I had zero tissues so I have him a face mask. I looked around the plane and there was a Mom in front of us so I asked if she had any tissues. Not only did she have tissues but baby wipes. She SAVED THE DAY by a lot. She was kind and concerned and awesome. So if you are out there and reading this – know you made a huge difference that day by a small act of kindness. It was not unnoticed and it was SO appreciated. Thank you for being awesome and helping some total strangers! Southwest – if you find this awesome person give her and her family a free flight!

Moving and More…

…fun in San Diego and heading to my next chapter.

Sorry for being so terrible about posting. I have been super hella busy moving into my boyfriends place, going to my cousins wedding in Salt Lake City and working. It’s been a lot but all great stuff. I can’t wait to live with this man and get to continue creating this life together. Onto our next step. My roommate is coming too! So best of both worlds. I will miss my old apartment tho – it was an amazing place to be and live. I will miss it a lot. But I am excited to add the next thing to my life and that’s continuing to advance in this relationship with this amazing man. Can’t wait! Hopefully I will be able to write more soon and not just be exhausted – good exhausted but exhausted none the less.

Combining Lives and Homes…

…results in a whole lot of stuff lol

My partner and I started the process of moving in together this weekend. Just a light trip to get the ball rolling. Man even bringing over a small load of clothes it took a lot of rearranging at his place! Luckily he’s pretty good with that and has a lot of room. I also unpacked a box I haven’t unpacked since I moved to SD. Found not only my important papers but an old poster I had up in my room since I was like 6. It’s a kitten in a tree that says ‘hang in there’ It was the second thing he hung up in his house hahahahah I love that man so much. He gets me. The first was my Master’s Degree. Nice to have it up again. It feels really good to combine our lives – even though it’s gonna be a lot of work and moving is a pain in the ass. Just fucking happy – in a real way. I don’t have to ask him for help or support he just offers and does it. In fact, he’s happy to do it because he as zero hesitation on combining our lives and zero hesitation on being with me. He doesn’t question if I am the one or the right path for his life – he knows I am without question. It’s freaking amazing! I of course feel that way for him too. It’s what I have been waiting for and this and he was SO worth the wait.

Making it To Next Month…

…and then month to month after that.

I love my work – I do. But living month to month and barely scraping by is tough. That’s partially my fault for getting into debt in my past and putting a bunch of money towards getting out of it. But a lot of it is cost of living compared to income. I know I am not the only one feeling this crunch – I think most of us are. We are thrilled to make it each month but once we do we are left with almost no money for fun or clothes or anything else really. Now student loans are kicking back in. Which means it’s going to be even tighter. So when I make it through one month I just start worrying about making it through the next. It’s a tough way to live. But I chose the nonprofit life and I don’t dread going to work everyday so that’s definitely its own kind of rich. I just can’t pay bills with it lol Anyone else out there feel me and the month to month struggle?

Lyrics to Live By…

…That Part performed by Lauren Spencer-Smith

We’ve only been dating for a year
But I’m gonna take a risk and sound a little weird
I want the picket fences and an arch around the entrance
Two Ikea twin beds for the kids

It’s normal to be a little scared
But I wanna bend the rules and play some truth or dare
So ask me any question, I don’t really care
The only thing I care about is if you’ll meet me there

And I wanna take your name
And I know you want the same

When you hold me, I see the end of a movie
Everyone thinks that we’re crazy
And maybe we are
I hate the middle, let’s skip to the part when you kiss me
Surrounded by friends and our family
Know we’re too young to get married
We knew from the start
I’m sick of waiting, so can we just skip to that part?

The only way this is gonna hurt
Is if we got old, and you were the one to go first
So I’m wishing on elevens that we both meet up in Heaven
And fall in love again, just like the first time

And I know it all sounds lame
But I know you feel the same

When you hold me, I see the end of a movie
Everyone thinks that we’re crazy
And maybe we are
I hate the middle, let’s skip to the part when you kiss me
Surrounded by friends and our family
Know we’re too young to get married
We knew from the start
I’m sick of waiting, so can we just skip to that part?

When I met you
I told my friends that I’d date you
No one believed it would come true
But look where we are
We’re on our way, I know one day we’ll get to that part

Songwriters: Jakob Erixson / Geena Fontanella / Jacob Torrey / Lauren Spencer Smith