…causes you to miss big life events and celebrations of people you love.
I have loved being a nomad and living so many different places. I have met some of the most amazing people on this crazy journey and seen some awesome things. I never wanted to be the person who is too afraid to move from the place they lived in their childhood. But for all it’s benefits there are a lot of drawbacks too.
This weekend is my good friends baby shower that I am missing for a few reasons. 1) No money to go home for it. 2) I work weekends as my title is weekend manager. 3) I am taking vacation time next week already. Despite these being good reasons I still feel bad for missing it and not being able to be there. I want to be; it’s just not in the cards. My friend has been super understanding which is really nice. I am watching snaps of them getting ready for the shower and all and I am just feeling guilty and bit homesick I suppose. It is fun and hard to watch the social media posts at the same time.
Still at all the costs my lifestyle has I believe the benefits to my life and setting my own p(e)ace have been worth it. I will say that working every single weekend is starting to take it’s toll on my life; particularly my personal relationships. It has been weighing on my mind so much so that I am using my lunch break to write about it. When do you know that it’s no longer something you can do (because I have bills to pay)?
The spotting of my life goals started when I went to the movies. I have Tuesdays off and that is the discount day at the movie theater. I decided to take myself on a date to see Downton Abbey. There was an older couple sitting next to me. They shared popcorn and when the popcorn was gone they held hands. I have always said I want someone’s hand to hold throughout life and love. I couldn’t help but I hope I get so lucky as to have a hand to hold at the movies in my old age.
The second life goal I spotted was on my ‘ralk’ (my term for my Halloween 5K as it is a mix of walking and running). We have talked about my want to be the cute, fit woman in the sports bra just exercising, enjoying it, and looking awesome. Well she ran by me yesterday – confident, fit, tan, and great runner. Instead of being jealous I am now using her as a frame of reference for this goal. I am sure she started out like me and got where she is through dedication and hard work. Kudos to her and thanks to her inspiration, I ran farther then I ever have before! 1.77 miles is a lot in my world – note I did not say the longest because there was walking mixed in for a total 4.22 miles combined running and walking. Running is slowly getting a little easier and little less forced. I am hoping I finish the Halloween 5K with a decent time.
After my run, I met my work wife at the nail salon for a pedicure. The woman next to me was getting the deluce mani and pedi. I know it’s pedi (petty – pun) life goal but I would so love to be in a place financially that I can do that and not feel guilty. I already feel a bit of guilt for getting the basic pedicure. I life with deluxe manicures and pedicures…ahhhh I feel relaxed just day dreaming about it. She probably gets regular massages too which would be awesome!
My life goals may seem a bit simple but I truly believe that happiness and joy are found in the simple or little things. You already know that if you follow by blog but to drive the point home check out Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee from Zombieland below (his character understood this in his search for a Twinkie in the zombie apocalypse).
Yesterday with my 34th birthday and it was great. I had so many messages and well wishes. A group of people took a train to San Diego to go to a baseball game with me. My dad drove all the way from Phoenix to visit and bring me my present. My brother gave me something I truly needed and so appreciate. My dude moved my dresser all by himself which was huge load of my mind. I am so well taken care of between my family and friends. I do try to return the favor but sometimes I fear I may never be able to repay their love and kindness towards me. I truly don’t know what I did to deserve them and I know most of the time I don’t.
I am hoping that 34 will be my year. My year to advance in love, life, and career. It’s odd but I still don’t feel like a full adult most of the time…till I pay rent hahahaha.
For now I am reflecting on my 34 years of life. I have done just about everything I set out to do and messed up every step of the way. I don’t mean that in a negative way just to clarify. I like most of the screw ups I have committed – they taught me quite a bit and made my who I am. I have had successes and adventures to follow them. I look forward to my next 34 years and my successes and screw ups. I can’t wait to see what happens and what I make of it. However, I know without a single doubt that the people mentioned above will be a part of them and that makes me so happy and so fortunate.
It’s true, lately I have been feeling quite invisible. BUT like I wrote it’s only a feeling. I think when I feel negative things they are mostly in my head. Are they based on actions of myself and others? Sure. Are those actions malicious on either part? Absolutely not.
I have decided I dislike the term sensitive, especially when paired with the term over. Getting excited about things is one of my favorite qualities about myself. Sometimes that comes with a swing the other way. Sometimes I overreact and let my feelings steer me. I am working on it but I honestly don’t dislike that about myself either. You always know exactly what I am thinking and feeling and I like that about me. It’s more then I can say for most the people in the world. I do understand that most of the world wont like it and that it hurts people sometimes. That is the part I am trying to fix. I will allow myself to be myself around those who understand it and love me (and whom I love) and I will practice more control around those who don’t. This will be for my benefit and theirs.
Being invisible does have some benefits. I don’t mind flying slightly below the radar. I fear I have become too good at it. A lifetime of being someone’s second may have left me without knowledge of how to be a first. Do I want to be seen? Do I want that responsibility? Is this all in my head? To quote Albus Dumbledore, “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” I want to be seen by a select few for sure, but what of the others? I pop this question around my mind pretty frequently.
Sometimes being invisible is really nice and sometimes it hurts like hell. But if a few wonderful people can see me- well that’s enough for me. Thank you to those who see me. I really appreciate it. I hope you know that I see you too and I care.
So in continuing my building up to be able to run the Halloween 5K I went for a ‘ralk’ today. I ran at one minute or slightly over one minute intervals when I felt I could. I started out well and it got harder naturally as I got deeper into my ‘ralk.’ I learned some lessons on today’s ‘ralk’ and I am here to share them.
I am going to need a light knee brace to continue to do this. I have it under control when I am walking and me knee gives out but it happened when running and I almost ate it.
Always have a bathroom on my running path.
I need start carrying water.
Running on asphalt is better then sidewalk.
I need new running shoes in the near future.
I need shorts!
I had to stop for a water bottle at Sprouts (forgive me environment I really need the hydration). So I stopped in at Home Goods while I was at it in search of night stands and lesson #2 (hahahahaha ok I am a child).
In the last half mile of my ‘ralk’ I got tired and there were a bunch of butterflies so I decided I was done with the R (running) portion of my walk. As I was walking a butterfly gave me a high five (ok it flew into my hand but it counts). I didn’t even have my hand out it was just by side. That butterfly encouraged me to run another 1/4 mile. That might not sound like a whole lot to you or any experienced runner but it was a lot to me when I was tired, hot, and didn’t wanna run anymore. Thanks little butterfly!
I may be slower then a turtle but I am out there doing it!
Women face a lot of pressure from
family and friends in all stages of life sadly. I was always told to get
married before you’re an old maid, or have kids before you are too old, and
well you should quit your job and stay home with your baby. I didn’t do what
was expected but I did what was best for me and my family.
I didn’t quit my job even though
many thought I would after my baby was born. I went back to work and plan on
working my 30 years until retirement. Friends and fellow mom’s kept telling me that
I might change my mind once I’m home with baby or when I have to send the baby
to daycare. They kept telling me “how could you allow a stranger to raise your
child?” I would always pause and think about this and even started to doubt
myself four months after my baby was born. I thought was I not a good mom
because I didn’t want to stay at home with my child 24/7?
After getting back into a healthy
workout routine, I looked around one day and said no, I KNOW I’m doing the
right thing by being a working mom. So many stay at home moms (SAHMs) keep
telling me I don’t know what it is like to be a full-time mom and it’s harder
than having a job. I just let them vent and I moved about my life. I asked one
SAHM mom once well, what is your plan once the kids are in school? Will you go
back to work? She replied no, why would I do that?
Being a mom has made me
re-evaluate my priorities in life. I
decided the top things in my life are my marriage (spouse, myself and our
health), my kid(s), my family and friends, and lastly my job (in order to have
the means to live the lifestyle we want and to travel the world).
I’m not just a mom but I am so much more, I am a wife, a daughter, a friend, an individual, an athlete, a pet mom, a cook, etc. I didn’t let starting a family define who I am and that being ONLY a mom. I don’t like that the mom community forces you to choose a side of being a SAHM or a working-mom. Why can’t we all just be called a MOM, plus so many other things? It could be written Mom+
I know my child will be stronger and well-rounded because they have two working parents. Two parents that will be able to provide for them and show them the world. If that makes us BOTH selfish parents then I guess we are and that is okay with us. Why you ask? Because we decided our OWN path.
In today’s world I don’t see the need to RUSH everything. I don’t understand why people RUSH to get engaged and are in a RUSH to have kids and a RUSH to buy a house and etc. Why not slow down and enjoy life and do it YOUR WAY and SET YOUR OWN P(E)ACE. Make your own timeline and own path and NEVER apologize for it or let alone have people tell you to settle, don’t ever SETTLE.
This is the last post I have from Charlotte, but she may agree to write more for us if you show here some love in the comments section!
I moved my room today (mostly). I am writing this post from my bed in my new room and my roommates old one. It’s nice and kinda weird at the same time. I kind of feel like a guest in here…even with all my stuff in here. My work wife helped me move stuff and my bed AND she brought cider! I couldn’t have moved a lot of it without her so if you are reading this thank you very much!
I am hoping a new start makes my mostly empty apartment feel less odd. I have never been a person who enjoyed living alone. I like having someone to talk to at the end of the day and to notice if I happen to drop dead or get robbed or something. It’s nice to know there is another person in the house – there soon will be but for now it’s strange for me to be alone.
It is also very hard to eat on very few utensils and plates and nothing to cook with hahaha. All that is coming from my storage but for now it’s make due.
Also -update on my run a 5K goal. I started working up to it and my ass freaking hurts! Yikes! Also I officially registered and paid to run so there’s no backing out now. I got my spider Gwen hoodie as well so that is some good motivation to earn it.
I want to sleep but being in a new room and fight with someone I care about are keeping me up. Anyone else out there up and feeling weird? I guess I will keep cleaning…
…and stop putting that label on people…especially other women.
I am extremely over people using the term basic as an insult and judgement of things that bring people joy. I feel like this term originated with fall, pumpkin, and women. Somehow finding joy in pumpkin, fall decor and the season means you are a sheep with no original taste – especially if you are a woman.
I am saying it loud and proud I LOVE FALL, HALLOWEEN, and PUMPKIN and I am not sorry. You can call me basic, I wont change or feel bad about things that bring me joy because of your judgment. Why are people making other people feel bad for things they enjoy? Like what you like and don’t apologize. I believe this is critical to setting your own p(e)ace.
I am proposing we take this word back and I am not alone. Check out some of the posts, memes, and products below. Basic bitches unite!
Great article on being a proud basic bitch and kicking off others judgement!
This weekend was Tallships Festival which is an incredibly physical event. I walked over 20,000 steps per day always go go go. This event provided me with a reality check on my current physical health and weight. I know I have put on weight in the last year, I am not blind – but man by the end of those festival days I was dead on my feet. I felt pain in the bottom of my feet and my knees and that is due to the extra weight.
Please don’t get me wrong – I love and appreciate my body at pretty much any weight. I carry a little extra weight well in the looks department. My body has gotten me around for 33 years and given me all I need to live my life. Extra weight will never make me hate it or pick at it. The regular sex is proof I am still damn cute and feel cute. This isn’t about being skinny and conforming to that. This is about health and living up to my potential physically.
So it’s time do something for my physical health and how I feel. It’s time to eat a little better (I am not on board with drastic, crazy diets I can’t maintain), and getting more physical. This is where my Halloween 5K challenge to myself comes in! I HATE RUNNING! Seriously hate it – but I am going to prove I can do it. When I meet this challenge I will be in a better place physically. Today is day one of training. I will keep you posted on the progress.
I will never give up my chips, but it’s time to ration them for awhile 😉
…discernible taste in home decor! OK I do but I cannot afford my taste.
As the days of my roommates departure get closer and closer my apartment is getting emptier and emptier. I thought my consolation of losing a great roommate would be getting to decorate and pick out furniture. The more I look at furniture the more frustrated I get! It’s not fun it’s stressful! It’s all really expensive and anything affordable looks cheap. I have tried consignment stores and they are almost as expensive as the new stuff and look used…like real used. I want to know what has or hasn’t been done on my couch is you get my drift?!
I did find one piece I LOVED! It was a want though not a need because it’s a headboard so it’s purely decorative. That means I can’t buy it. 😦 I found my couch. It is more then I wanted to spend but it’s the first quality looking piece, I like it, and it’s still in the range of affordable. So I will finance that and at least have a place to sit. My dad is giving me a TV for my birthday so he’s basically my hero. I need a TV stand but since I am not getting my TV till my birthday I have some time on that one.
I went looking for a mirror and other wall decor and it’s all so pricey! There are so many other things I need to buy that it just isn’t practical. BUT how does a home feel like a home with blank, sad walls?
So basically I am totally lost with interior design on my budget. It might just take time and finding the right deals? I am remaining optimistic! I will find the right pieces.
Set My Own P(e)ace 