I had one the greatest birthdays I have had in awhile. It was so full of love and effort. It was exactly what I needed. I got a virtual birthday card from a lot of people and it was SO nice to see them again (organized by my BFF). I cry every time I watch it. I had a party in the park with good views, good people, and good food organized by other BFF/work wife/wine club member partner. I got a massage with my dude. Then we went to Phoenix for the weekend and it was so good to see my family again. Marty (the pup) became part of the pack at my dad’s house, we played cards, we ate about 85% of my Phoenix food (including Dutch Bros twice!), went to happy hours, and just had a great time. I felt really connected to my dude which was great and so, so nice. He moved so much around and worked into the nights to make this birthday trip work. I have never felt more special to him.
It’s truly great to be 35! I can’t wait to see what happens this year (it can hopefully only go better then 2020 right?).
August is just around the corner…yet it feels like March. I know many of us feel this way. It’s been awhile since I have written because I didn’t have anything positive to say and I like to keep the tone of this blog honest by hopeful. So here I am in the mist of a pandemic trying to have a hopeful tone. It’s not always easy and I wont spread anymore woes to all of your wonderful people so it took me awhile to get inspired to write again.
I haven’t seen my family in 8 months – not a positive but had a positive effect. I miss them a lot. I don’t think I will take for granted being able to hop on a plane or in my car to visit. My nephew is HUGE! My mom is out there working. My brother is out helping people and my sister-in-law too. I just miss soaking in their company. Hopefully I will be able to again soon and I will be very excited.
It’s almost my birthday month (September). I am almost 35 and somehow it feels old, but not in a negative way. It feels a little more experienced – maybe it’s the age, maybe it’s living through this tough time. I don’t really know.
I hope you all are doing well and have a wonderful dog to keep you ‘pawsitive’ when you’re down. It’s been really nice 🙂 I do love puns…
I entered 2020 the same way I left 2019 – with a cold. Most people would consider this a bad thing, and while I admit the being sick part isn’t my favorite, it came a not so bad source – my nephew lol. I couldn’t not eat the half slobbered food he offered me because he was so cute! Also, did not like it when I fake ate the food so I had to real eat it. Also, it showed me that my dude is not only willing to stay in with sick me on New Years Eve but braved the grocery store to get my a pizza and Benadryl and took care of me for the rest of the night. Is he a keeper or what?
I have worked through the cold because you can’t call out on January 1 or you look like a hungover, irresponsible asshole. So I went to work and ended up having to leave early to rest. I felt a bit better then woke up this morning feeling like almost complete crap. None the less I got up, got dressed, and went to work. I hope I don’t get anyone there sick.
I only have one goal for 2020 which is to drink more water. Although I have entered back into intermittent fasting to help drop some of the holiday/dumb food choices weight. Interestingly enough I am losing my taste for chips. I bought a big bag and after having a few I found them overwhelmingly greasy. So I am going to lean into this. I want to get a bento lunch box so I have controlled portions and a variety of things to eat. Nothing drastic or crazy to drop the weight by small and real changes I can stick to. This said, when I really want to eat the piece of cake I am going to eat it without guilt (to quote my mom). I don’t want to be a resolutionist reacting to the poor eating during the holidays and run to the gym. In fact, I am skipping RIPPED tonight because of the cold. No use hurting myself to meet an obsessive short term goal. Took time to put the weight on and will take time to take it off; until then I intend to enjoy the body I am in.
I have been thinking what to write that would be as profound as I would like it to be to close 2019 but I think instead I will write what I know about the year in my world and hope it comes out with a little depth.
Change…so much change. My dad got married, my nephew is entering the person phase rather then pure baby, got more responsibility at work, and fell in love. Some of it was great and some of it wasn’t so great. Whoever said change is the only constant is definitely correct.
2019 (in non-chronological order):
My living situation changed as my roommate moved to Denver and I got a new roomie. Still miss Stef bunches, but enjoy living with Emily as well.
Dad got married – this is only a slight change as they lived together for awhile but my family did expand.
I fell in love which wasn’t always an easy process; we sure put love through it there for awhile. I learned that relationships are work but that it’s totally worth it for the right person. I hope 2020 brings more love that is earned.
I got more responsibility at work which hasn’t been the easiest transition. But I am getting there.
My weight has changed as in I have gained about 14 lbs. That doesn’t seem huge and it’s not but it does feel not great. I am not sad about it though because I learned something – happiness does not equal skinny. I am happier right now then most of the time I was super lean. The right people wont care and will see your beauty no matter the numbers (scale or pants). While I am glad to have this lesson under my belt I think it’s time to focus on healthier eating – not my forte – but I am going to try.
I am able to set better boundaries then I was one year ago so that’s awesome. I feel less guilt in setting them which is good.
I regularly attend therapy sessions. It’s been really helpful and nice to have an unbiased 3rd party to talk with about all these changes and emotions in my life. I feel less controlled by emotions and anxieties; although certain emotions and anxieties still hold a lot of power – but it’s a work in progress.
New year – same but improving me. I am always striving for improvement of myself. If you aren’t then what’s the point right?
Set My Own P(e)ace 