Seriously. I feel a lot better after a few days of. Refreshed and ready to hit the ground running. I don’t know why I was feeling so sluggish and awful last week. Maybe I was just tired? But after a few days off with no obligations, no long distance driving, and no emotional sponging, I feel almost all like myself again. Myself has always included anxiety so that being present is normal; I just feel less exhausted and drained. Sometimes you need to give yourself the break your brain and heart requires. That is an important lesson that I am sure I will learn more then once going forward. The rest has been AMAZING. Even with my car battery dying. Find yourself a partner who will drive you to your nail appointment for self care, then take you to 5 different auto shops looking for your battery, install your battery, and put up with your frustration with the battery hunt all in one day. That’s a show of love right there. Bash is back on the road! I suppose I bound to have to replace it soon. 7 years was a good life on the last battery. Now onto the root canal tomorrow. Hurts my wallet more then anything hahaha
Remember to take care of yourselves my friends. It’s important, especially during the expectations and financial stress of the Holiday season.
I have a really bad habit of justifying my habits – particularly healthy ones like watching a show that is silly but I like it, relaxing instead of being productive, or eating something yummy. I think and say things like “i can relax but because I accomplished xyz’ or ‘I am going to eat this cookie because I worked out.’ Yanno what? I don’t need to do that for myself or anyone else. I can relax simply because I want to. I can eat that cookie because it’s good and I enjoy it. I am making choices for me and that is OK. If it’s taking care of yourself – just do it. Don’t do it because blah blah blah – do it because you like it or need it. Moderation is good still, but no need to justify your choices. Do you. I plan to from now on. I know it will take some practice, but I no longer need to talk myself into things like rest. Maybe I am just getting old lol but grind time will be grind time and rest time will be rest time. It feels better to be productive when you are in the mood anyway.
Whose with me? What self care thing will you do without justifying it to yourself or anyone else today?
I have always thought that the little things in life are the important ones. It’s never taken much to amuse me and make me laugh and I live a pretty happy life because of it. A tiny treat in my day can completely make it. A small compliment can bring about a smile faster then most things.
Last night, after a very nice anniversary date, I felt quite sick to my stomach. (This confirms that my lactose sensitivity is growing as we had mud pie which is mostly ice cream). I ended up being sick in his bathroom and when I came out he had picked me two pink and white flowers for my hair (the same type of flowers I have tattooed on my side) and it was the sweetest thing. Then we laid down on a giant bean bag chair and just rested together – he acted as if I hadn’t just been sick in his bathroom. These two small acts are exactly what I needed in that moment.
Most people likely think we are a bit nuts for trying again but in these small moments I know why. In these small acts of kindness I know his heart and who he is and how it matches mine in a lot of ways.