Let’s Talk About Food…

…and how eating (especially for women) is portrayed.

I put on an old movie (America’s Sweethearts) and really got to think about how food and eating is represented in media (movies, tv, magazines whatever). In this movie Julia Roberts character has lost 60 lbs because she cut carbs. She refers to not eating bread several times and when shes upset she eats a bunch of carbs. Because of course eating some carbs is rock bottom because it threatens her thin weight might fluctuate. Then Jon Cusak’s character wouldn’t be interested anymore because she gained an ounce. On the Girls Next Level podcast they often talk about how food is represented on the show, particularly for Bridget. They wanted to make her the chunky one – imagine that. She is absolutely lovely and thing as hell. But the show constantly shows her eating (as if that’s a bad thing). You need to eat – especially when there is good food. Why wouldn’t a person eat? I have also seen a lot of reels about why millennial women have issues with food then it runs horrible clips of how food and weight is portrayed in the media. They are right. That’s a huge reason we have so many issues with food and body image and weight. Even my husband (who likes curves – he’d have to be attracted to me) said he felt pressured to be into the stereotypical thinness rather then what he was into and it took him awhile to figure that out. My personal relationship with food has changed a lot with pregnancy. In the first trimester it was whatever I could keep down. Now, in my second trimester, I am trying to meet certain goals of protein and whatnot in a day. I feel full all the time but the body needs fuel. Even now that I know that, it’s hard to eat more then I usually did for fear of ‘getting fat.’ I felt really proud I didn’t gain weight in my first trimester (I actually lost some) and then I wondered why that made me feel better? You are supposed to gain weight during pregnancy. Not a lot lot lot but some. Why does that scare me? I bring it back to this ridiculous pressure to be ‘healthy’ aka thin (see Barbie movie monologue). I’m not saying that it’s only pressure on women, but let’s face it – it’s mostly on women. Look at the all the shows with a bigger guy and rail thin woman. When is it reversed? So much so that the guys who like some curves feel like it’s wrong to like that. That’s crazy too! It’s all nuts and needs to be addressed. So I am addressing it as best I can in this stream of thoughts. What do you think?

Finding the Motivation…

…to workout on a day I REALLY don’t feel like it.

I had a relapse with the scale and it has not been fun. This quarantine has definitely affected my weight, despite working out 5-6 days a week. Maybe it’s the lack of my very physical job but mostly I think it’s not great eating combined with higher alcohol intake. Either way that number was not awesome. I know better then to let the number on the scale be my workout motivation (because it’s shitty motivation and makes you feel shitty). Letting that be my motivation crashed my want to workout.

So now I am trying to pump myself back up for RIPPED at 5:00 pm. I am going to list all the good reasons I workout. It makes me feel motivated in all areas of my life. Working out makes me feel good. Working out helps quell my anxiety. Doing online workouts with a community during this quarantine is nice – I feel less alone. These are the reasons I am getting my booty up, putting on my cute workout clothes, and doing this workout.

Then I am heading over to perform a seduction because damnit I am beautiful and wonderful at any weight –> and I know a wonderful man who thinks I am too 😉

Can't Wait on Weights…

…to do your live streamed workout!

I did the full live streamed RIPPED class this afternoon. I was afraid I would feel ridiculous jumping around my living room but it worked out really well (helps that my floors are hardwood). However, I do not have weights -which you need for two section of the class. No excuses! I filled up my empty wine bottle with water and put a stopper in them and used those as weights. They were a little light but a whole lot better then nothing. It also helps me justify my wine consumption during this shelter in place thing.

After my workout I went to weight myself and I stopped. I had just worked out and felt really good about myself. Why was I going to possibly kill that feeling with a number that is an ok baseline but doesn’t really mean anything. How do I feel? I feel good and that’s what matters. So I put the scale away and took my shower still on my workout high without the damper of a number on a scale I don’t care for. It was a personal victory – I normally give into the impulse to weigh myself without a second thought. Gotta take the small wins.

Don’t skip your workouts (or whatever it is that makes you feel normal) to the best of your abilities. Cardio is important in the apocalypse – remember Zombieland Rule #1!

Convincing Myself That I Am NOT…

…hungry. Mind over matter.

Lately I have been super hungry most of the time. I don’t know if it’s getting back into my workout routine, coming off holiday eating, or my hormone cycle, but I am hungry almost all the time. The kind of hunger that is really hard to ignore. I am trying to convince my body it isn’t as hungry as it is saying it is because I know I don’t need to consume as much food as it wants me too. I know I should shove it full of vegetables but that isn’t what the hunger wants (who wants vegetables all the time?).

I went through a two week phase were my appetite was very low. It was nice. Now it seems to be making up for lost time. So I am trying to do things to distract myself (like write this post) or work or workout or whatever. I know this denying of the hunger is ultimately what my body needs (especially to keep my weight down) but it seems almost crazy to ignore. My body must need these calories right? Is it hunger or is it just cravings for certain foods? How do you learn the difference? This has a been a lifelong struggle for me. Eating for satisfaction vs. eating for health and energy. Working out comes naturally to me – eating healthy does not. Anyone out there experience this and have ant tips?

First Steps Into…

…2020!

I entered 2020 the same way I left 2019 – with a cold. Most people would consider this a bad thing, and while I admit the being sick part isn’t my favorite, it came a not so bad source – my nephew lol. I couldn’t not eat the half slobbered food he offered me because he was so cute! Also, did not like it when I fake ate the food so I had to real eat it. Also, it showed me that my dude is not only willing to stay in with sick me on New Years Eve but braved the grocery store to get my a pizza and Benadryl and took care of me for the rest of the night. Is he a keeper or what?

I have worked through the cold because you can’t call out on January 1 or you look like a hungover, irresponsible asshole. So I went to work and ended up having to leave early to rest. I felt a bit better then woke up this morning feeling like almost complete crap. None the less I got up, got dressed, and went to work. I hope I don’t get anyone there sick.

I only have one goal for 2020 which is to drink more water. Although I have entered back into intermittent fasting to help drop some of the holiday/dumb food choices weight. Interestingly enough I am losing my taste for chips. I bought a big bag and after having a few I found them overwhelmingly greasy. So I am going to lean into this. I want to get a bento lunch box so I have controlled portions and a variety of things to eat. Nothing drastic or crazy to drop the weight by small and real changes I can stick to. This said, when I really want to eat the piece of cake I am going to eat it without guilt (to quote my mom). I don’t want to be a resolutionist reacting to the poor eating during the holidays and run to the gym. In fact, I am skipping RIPPED tonight because of the cold. No use hurting myself to meet an obsessive short term goal. Took time to put the weight on and will take time to take it off; until then I intend to enjoy the body I am in.

How’s your 2020 going so far?

A Physical Challenge…

…and a reality check!

This weekend was Tallships Festival which is an incredibly physical event. I walked over 20,000 steps per day always go go go. This event provided me with a reality check on my current physical health and weight. I know I have put on weight in the last year, I am not blind – but man by the end of those festival days I was dead on my feet. I felt pain in the bottom of my feet and my knees and that is due to the extra weight.

Please don’t get me wrong – I love and appreciate my body at pretty much any weight. I carry a little extra weight well in the looks department. My body has gotten me around for 33 years and given me all I need to live my life. Extra weight will never make me hate it or pick at it. The regular sex is proof I am still damn cute and feel cute. This isn’t about being skinny and conforming to that. This is about health and living up to my potential physically.

So it’s time do something for my physical health and how I feel. It’s time to eat a little better (I am not on board with drastic, crazy diets I can’t maintain), and getting more physical. This is where my Halloween 5K challenge to myself comes in! I HATE RUNNING! Seriously hate it – but I am going to prove I can do it. When I meet this challenge I will be in a better place physically. Today is day one of training. I will keep you posted on the progress.

I will never give up my chips, but it’s time to ration them for awhile 😉