I Didn’t Do it…

…the Halloween 5K that is.

The Halloween 5K came and went this Sunday and I was not present. I did not achieve the goal I set for myself – but for a good reason. Instead I drove to Tucson, AZ for my nephew’s 1st Birthday party. Training for the 5K also went to pot after I sprained my ankle. I would post a photo but there is a strict ban on posting his cute face online so you will have to take my word for it.

As I was thinking about this post I thought to myself, my readers are going to think those are bunch of convenient excuses….maybe they are? However I am not sorry I got time with my nephew ( I call him my smoosh). He is growing up soooo fast and I am not there for so much of it. Additionally, I got to show support and care for my brother and sister-in-law which is important. Sometimes I feel like what I do isn’t enough but that’s a topic for another post.

My dude helped me with the drive and I don’t know if I could have done that quick a turn around without him. He really was my hero (even though he ate all my fries at our in-n-out stop ;p). We went to Saguaro National Park and stayed in a very nice hotel for a good price (thanks hoteltonight!). It was a nice little get away with him.

A small part of me still feels like a bit of a failure though. Why is that? Any insights?

Lyrics to Relate Too

The Bones by Maren Morris

We’re in the homestretch of the hard times
We took a hard left, but we’re alright
Yeah, life sure can try to put love through it, but
We built this right, so nothing’s ever gonna move it

Call it dumb luck, but baby, you and I
Can’t even mess it up, although we both try
No, it don’t always go the way we planned it
But the wolves came and went and we’re still standing

When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it rain ’cause you and I remain the same
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation
Baby, I know any storm we’re facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don’t fall when the bones are good
When the bones are goodBones are good, the rest, the rest don’t matter (baby, it don’t really matter)
Paint could peel, the glass could shatter (oh, the glass, oh, the glass could shatter)
Bones are good, the rest, the rest don’t matter (ooh)
Paint could peel, the glass, the glass could shatter (yeah)When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it rain (let it rain, let it rain)
‘Cause you and I remain the same (woo)
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation (woo)
Baby, I know any storm we’re facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don’t fall when the bones are good Yeah, ooh

40 'I Love You' Quotes That Will Make You Believe In Love Again — I’m confident our bones are good 😉

‘Clopening’ and other signs…

…I am getting kind of old.

I had the realization today that I am not as young as I used to be. I am not ancient at 34 but I am definitely not 24 either. I worked until 10:30 pm last night and it was a very physical night of work – tons of walking (about 20K steps in total). I had to be back at work at 8:00 am. After I got home, got a bite to eat, and wound down it was about 12:30 am and I woke up at about 6:45 am. Six hours of sleep after a physical shift is NOT enough. I am so exhausted and I am only writing this on my lunch break. Send coffee. I can’t turn around and work work work like I used to. I need a break!

There is of course the classic sign that everyone experiences after 30 – hangovers that last more then a few hours – more like a few days. I remember when I could recover from a gnarly hangover and still make it to morning classes. Now it takes a full 3 days to up to speed again. They also come with more guilt since I know I inflicted this upon myself. I never recall feeling guilty about a hangover in my 20’s.

I recently gained about 10 pounds; not the end of the world but not great. Usually I can lose ten pounds pretty quickly when I am focused. That seems to no longer be the case. I have been active (even on a strained ankle) and not horrible with what I am eating and I have gained two pounds…cool. WTF?! This might be my least favorite sign of age.

Still I wouldn’t go back to being 24 instead of 34. I am loving my life right now and wouldn’t trade it for those insecurities (might take back my 24 year old body though and metabolism though). I set my own p(e)ace and accepting these signs of getting older is a part of that. Beats the hell out of not getting older so I will wear them with pride.

How do you know you’re getting older and how are you making your own p(e)ace with it?

Getting A Break…

…and having a great day.

Today is our Spooky Seas event and it is a night event so I got to come into work late…on a Saturday! That means I had the morning with my dude like a regularly scheduled person and it was soooo great. We slept in then got breakfast. Then we went on a motorcycle ride and stopped at pretty views and for a malt. Then we snuggled and watched some TV. It was so great. It’s given me a taste of what having weekends is like and having actual day time off with my dude and I liked it. I liked it a lot. This morning made me so over the moon happy that I think it might be time to start seeking a job that will allow this on a more regular basis.

We’ve been talking about the little things and there were so many wonderful little moments in this morning and I want more opportunity to have those and set my own p(e)ace. After four years I am hoping my working every single weekend day will end soon. Until then, I will continue to enjoy weekends here as much as I can.

Also, I need to stop spending my own money on work stuff. I really feel for the teachers out there that spend their own money all the time, especially since neither profession makes a whole lot in the first place. Support teachers and local nonprofits! And I am saying this as a 34 year old woman with no kids…if I had the money I would sponsor a class room for the year so wonderful teachers can keep all the money they earn making educating the next generation (and who join me in working some weekends). Hit me up teachers out there — we will hit a happy hour and discuss our lives and ways to save money.

The Little Things Matter…

…still aka Part 2.

I have written before about the little things in life being the big things and I wanted to talk more about that. It’s been on my mind lately because I have noticed my dude noticing and being so sweet about my little quirks.

I am a weird person with weird habits. The one he noticed that got me thinking on this topic again is an eating habit. When I eat things that come in pieces (i.e. pizza, orange chicken) I want specific pieces. I don’t know why other then something in my mind thinks they are better. He noticed this and now either specifically asks me which pieces of something I prefer or let’s me dig in first. It’s so small but means so much. It shows he likes me enough to pay attention to those and to cater to them, even if they are weird. That little thing is HUGE.

I am SOOOO excited to see Zombieland DoubeTap that my dude bought us tickets to the super nice, fancy theater to see it. He’s going with me even though he isn’t super into the movie. I can NOT wait for 8:15 pm tonight. Bring your twinkies!

I purchased a big pack of cute Halloween socks to give to my staff and everyone wore them the next day. They loved them and it made them feel appreciated. A very little thing became not only a big token of my appreciation for them but a team bonding item. Themed socks are always a good choice – a little flair to brighten a day.

A former volunteer sent a note to update me on how she was doing just because she wanted us to know; not because she needed a letter of recommendation or confirmation of hours. Simply because she loved being here and missed us. This small gesture completely made my work week.

Remember the little things aren’t as little as you think. What is something little you can do for someone?

When it is Okay to Say…

…how you feel.

I struggle with this question a lot. As someone who tends to feel a lot it’s hard to live in a world where most other people don’t – or at least aren’t uncomfortable expressing those feelings. Expressing things like sadness or disappointment – especially with someone you really care about is really, really difficult. People who are uncomfortable with expressing feelings or having feelings expressed to them often over use the term ‘over sensitive’ to describe those of us that express our feelings frequently and really get defensive about it (again, this is from my perspective so if you disagree totally fine). I have already discussed this term and how I feel about it, so I wont reiterate that to you. So does that mean that you just have to bottle up how you feel? Should you pick and chose the times to tell people? Should I conform to a majority world that isn’t comfortable with my expression of feelings?

Like I said, I struggle with this question a lot. I don’t want to cause strife where there is none. I never think simply expressing how I feel and getting it out of my brain will cause problems, but it tends to. So, do I just learn to live with keeping those feelings in most of the time? That doesn’t seem healthy.

The thing on my mind right now isn’t an end of the world or ‘deal breaker’ thing, but it is actively on my mind bumming me out. If I say it to this other person though it might cause a whole to do – which would not be my intention. Especially when this person does a lot for me already – does that mean I ignore this item and pretend it doesn’t matter? Is that something this other person has earned and that my feelings on this matter aren’t as important? It’s such a hard question.

So I am putting it out to my small but awesome readership. How much of yourself do you compromise to fit into the world around you?

Let’s Talk About Dating…

…in more then just a romantic sense.

I am arranging a steak dinner date tonight for me and my dude. I normally can’t really afford to take him out to much (as you all well know by now) so when I saw a Groupon for a steak dinner for two people that was in the price range I was psyched! This whole thing got me thinking about dating, dates, and what makes a date. While I love romantic, fun dates with my dude I think dating is a bigger concept.

I take myself on dates! I think dating yourself is super important. Mostly, I take myself on movie dates but I have been known to take myself out for a glass of wine as well. If you can’t enjoy your own company, why would anyone else? Plus you don’t have to share popcorn. So get out there and get to know yourself. Going out by yourself is important in my book. You shouldn’t miss out on doing something awesome because no one else is available to go with you. Don’t be afraid to date yourself.

Dates with your friends are super important as well. Schedule time and activities with your friends – they deserve it! Catch up on what is happening on your lives and just have fun- but do it on purpose. Your friends are great! Don’t they deserve the same time, consideration, and effort as your significant other? I know I couldn’t get my without my friends so I try my best to make efforts and time for them. Schedule a date with your friends and you might learn something new about them! You will definitely show them how much they mean to you.

Go on ‘dates’ with your family! Schedule time with individual family members and spend some one on one time together. You will be very glad you took the time and made the effort. I love spending one on one time with my family members. I am always surprised with the things I learn about people I have known all my life – all just by giving them my time and full attention. You can also schedule group dates with your whole family and do something fun and intentional together that isn’t based around a holiday or big life event (i.e. wedding, funeral, birthday, etc.).

I do think that no matter what type of date you are on that you should commit to putting your cell phone away. I don’t mean it banished but do put it away other than emergencies or looking up movie times. Give your ‘date’ your full attention and spend real time with them – even if it’s yourself.

#quote #selflove #love #yourself #quotes #motivation

Sometimes We Need Someone To Simply Be There quotes quote friend friendship quotes friend quotes quotes for friends quotes on friendship

A Bit of Self Care…

…changes your whole day for the better.

You can’t pour from an empty cup – and all of the other self care cliches that are true. On Sunday night I got very little sleep and was feeling pretty terrible about the 11 hour work day in front of me. My poor dude woke up to be in tears in the bed next to him at the thought of it.

My work wife told me to take a couple of hours in the middle of the day off. I contemplated napping but I am NOT a good napper. I wake up confused and even more out of it. I settled on pulling some money out of the Christmas present fund and spend it on a massage. It was the best way I could have spent my time and money. I was a new person after and ready to do my work proud.

At the end of the massage I wondered why self care is so challenging for me and so many of us. We are so ready to care for those around us that we let our own care slip. That’s the Hufflepuff nature I suppose (and possibly a lot more groups). I want to care of those I care about but I need to remember that I care about myself too. I deserve the same attention and care I offer those around me from myself. I may have to find massage money in the budget more often.

What is your favorite act of self care?

P.S. Still trying really hard not to adopt a dog…

Oh Brother…

…you are my best friend!

My brother came to visit San Diego and I got to spend time hanging out with him. We went to the Midway Museum, The San Diego Maritime Museum, Rooftop Cinema, and a few restaurants.

I have written and rewritten this post a few times it never conveys quite what I want it to. My brother and I have a great relationship and it’s really important to me. Having these times supports that and I am grateful for them. I hope I am half as good a sister as he is a brother but I am afraid I fall short of the mark. So there are my thoughts on that without any flair or style – simply feelings.

By This Point in My Life I Thought I’d Have…

… a dog!

I have been having serious pangs to adopt a dog or a cat lately. I have always had an animal around from the day I was born. I have been a month without one and I can’t take it. I need a little critter to snuggle and love. There has been a bit of a whole since my roommates pup moved out.

Funny the role our animals (aka fur babies) play in our lives. They are always there – no matter what. There is something hugely comforting in that.

I have been looking at rescue sites. Mind you I can’t really afford it if something goes wrong with this animal which is why I haven’t adopted one. Stupid money!

This time is a little different in my want for a dog though. Part of my huge want for a dog is to adopt one with my dude and take it on walks together, hang out and watch tv together, go to the dog park together. I’ve never had that additive in this want and I am still working it out in my brain. What if we broke up then one of us would never see the dog again?! It’s tricky…

Who knows what will come of my will to adopt a pup? I know this wasn’t my deepest post but it’s what is on my brain at the moment!