Give it 3 Months…

…is what they say about new birth control.

Three fucking months of feeling a little nauseous (or a lot), a little light headed, mood swings and overall yuck. Takes 3 months for your body to adjust to the hormones. That’s a long fucking time to feel miserable a good chunk of the time. I know I need the hormones (thanks PCOS and making too much testosterone) but shit man 3 months of this. I just started week 3. I’m not even a third of the way through this shit and I kinda wanna rip it off my body and quit. But then the PCOS side effects will kick into high gear and that’s just a different kind of miserable. Can’t win for losing here.

I heard someone say the other day (can’t recall where – radio maybe) that they can’t wait to meet themselves once they no longer have to take birth control and I felt that so hard. It does so much and fucks you up in so many ways. Yanno why women take birth control? Because men couldn’t handle this shit. Sorry guys but it’s true. Y’all have no idea.

I can’t imagine what pregnancy hormones do to you. Not sure I want too.

I wrote this awhile back – some of these symptoms are improving but boy was I upset about it at the time. I hope you enjoyed my rant hahahaha

An Anxiety Wave…

…woke me up last night.

It was one of the worst I’ve had in awhile. I was drifting off to sleep when it hit. I was groggy so wasn’t even sure what it was about at first. Which was almost as disorienting as the anxiety. Another case of anxiety about anxiety. I did finally figure out what it was about which helped a little. Aired for the wave to recede a bit and went to sleep. Woke up feeling a lot better but wowza that was a bad wave. Maybe it’s because I switched my birth control patch for a fresh one? Maybe it was just built up. Unsure but I wrote a whopper of an opinion article about how birth control messes ya up. You’ll get to read it soon hahaha here’s hoping that was my last wave for a bit.

Trying a New Form Of…

…Birth Control.

If you have PCOS or just struggle with imbalanced hormones, you know that finding the right balance with birth control is a hard game to play. After 20+ years of taking a birth control pill it start making me feel horrible so I have switched to the patch. I need the birth control with the hormones to balance my imbalance. I have only had it on for a day so nothing to report yet other then I am excited to see if it works better for me. I hope it helps redistribute my weight properly an stops some of the increased facial hair since going off the pill. The overall appointment with the new health care provider was good. She took the time to listen to me and answer my questions. She didn’t run in and run out. The office made sure to get my medical records transferred. I do get to have another super fun internal ultrasound to ensure my fibroids haven’t gotten a lot worse. Looking forward to that (can you sense the sarcasm). It’s not horrible but it’s definitely not fun. That’s the update for now. I will keep you posted my PCOS peeps.

I did have to wait roughly 4 months for an appointment with anyone. So ladies schedule those wellness exams and get your pap done!

Back On The Pill…

…and it doing weird things to my appetite.

Due to moving, new jobs, stress, being busy I stopped taking my birth control pill for about a month and a half. Do I take it for protection against the nine month parasite? Yep. But it’s also PCOS control. I went back on it about two weeks ago and ever since I am either not hungry at all or experience complete and uncontrollable hunger. Ravenous hunger that wont be ignored. Then I binge all my calories in one sitting and feel fucking terrible. Like worse then worse – both stomach ache and guilt. But it feels completely uncontrollable in the moment. Eat eat eat. It’s definitely something I have experienced before but that doesn’t make it any less shitty or any easier to control. I am trying to break the cycle and the binges are getting smaller to be sure which is good. Here’s hoping I level out soon.

Handling My Health…

…to set my own p(e)ace

Health Update! I had my second doctors appointment for the now four weeks of bleeding and finding the cause. We are adding a fun new symptom from the PCOS which is fybroids. But I am getting ahead of myself.

I have been dreading this appointment since I heard the words ‘internal ultrasound.’ I have had an internal ultrasound before so it wasn’t that I didn’t know what to expect…it’s that I did. Internal ultrasounds aren’t super painful but they are incredibly uncomfortable for many reason. 1) The obvious: a rod is going up you 2) I mean really up you 3) WTF is that in me?! Although one cool thing was that the ultrasound image was projected on a TV so I could see it. It was pretty cool. Did I have any idea what I was looking at? No, but it was still a nice distraction

The doctor came in and asked why we did the ultrasound again…okay she’s busy. She then fired off some information I didn’t understand and basically ran out the door before I could really even ask questions. I am thinking I need a new doctor – not due to lack of skill but you can’t ramble medical stuff at me and run out the room.

So no cysts on the ovaries! Yay! Unfortunately, I now have many fybroids on my uterus, but they are small which is good. I am trying a temporary new regimen of my birth control pill to control the symptoms (stop the bleeding). I am little frightened that upping my BC pill, even temporarily, might make me a bit nuts for a few days. Maybe I will just put myself on a time out to ensure that the only other person affected, if it happens, is me. If that doesn’t work I get an IUD

So my adventures with PCOS continue. I am sharing this saga with PCOS and myself for the same reason I share my journey in therapy – I am not ashamed because it’s a part of my life. I have to address it all to take care of me and set my own p(e)ace. Own what you’re dealt, taking care of, and be damn proud you’re handling your business! So cheers to all those handling their business. Cheers!