It’s Hard Not To Compare…

…especially with relationship stuff.

I know a couple who got engaged after six months of dating. I can barely get my dude to talk about moving in together after two years. Neither is wrong and neither is bad; they are just different. But when your relationship is on slower end, it’s hard not to compare it to those moving at warp speed. It’s hard to imagine the person you love so much not being so into you that they propose within six months, when you have clear proof that exists in the world. Does that mean your love isn’t as good? No, I don’t think so. But it is still a tough comparison pill to swallow. Which is why you should try not compare – much easier said then done.

Feeling Like I am In the Way…

…and wondering why that is.

Lately, I have been feeling like I am in the way most places I find myself in. That’s not many places considering the pandemic. I feel like I am in the way at my dudes house today. I am doing laundry, worked out this morning, and have had a pretty productive day. I sat down to watch TV and eat lunch, and he starts commenting on the show I am watching. It’s nothing bad really, but I start thinking ‘oh no, my watching TV is bothering him. Should I go do something else? She I be being more productive instead of watching Vikings? Am I making him uncomfortable?’ I do that a lot here. I turn the TV on super low so he wont judge what I am watching or I wont distract him from work or whatever he is doing. I feel in the way at my apartment for some similar reasons. I want to pick a show my roommate will like too and not annoy her with some of the crap I watch. Even at RIPPED today our class was made to feel in the way of a boot camp class. What is with me being in everyone’s way lately? Is it all in my head? Am I in my own way? All thoughts just rolling around in my noggin. So I will just share my thoughts with you and stay quiet and out of the way for as long as I can. I will try to work it out in my head and come up with an answer.

We Need to Start…

…playing for the same team.

I have said it before, I don’t like to get political on this blog because I don’t like to isolate people by groups or beliefs. Then I got to thinking about the current climate and happenings in this country and realized that not isolating people based on groups and beliefs is what the country needs to be doing. We need to be playing for the same team with the same common goal – equality and peace. We need to respect our differences, address the issues at hand and move forward together. You can’t stop the democratic process because your side isn’t winning. We need to come together for the sake of the team. Biden and Harris are promoting unity while others promote anarchy for their own gain. Let’s move forward as a team. Team USA yes, but bigger then that team humanity.

I would also like to address the crazy inequality of the response of BLM protests (armed Law Guards/Law enforcement) vs. the armed storming of our capitol (nothing and just letting it happen). If you don’t think systemic racism is real please examine that simple fact. White armed folks are allowed to run amuck because they are white supporting a white outwardly racist (because it serves him well) man but when Black people fight for real equality and their lives they are met with violence and crazy force. It’s not okay all the way around.

So I beg of all humans (especially in this country), can we find a way to move forward and solve the issues of this country? Can we let the democratic process move forward with grace and dignity? I really hope so.

I invite polite conversation in the comments section and will not allow the spreading of hate and falsehoods on my platform (however small it may be). This is a place to set your own peace and hear about how I am trying to as well. Hopefully we can set our own peace as a nation, together.

I Finished ‘The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’ and…

…here are my thoughts. Spoiler alert (the end was spoiled for me so I wanna warn ya)

Overall I found the series entertaining and very different from Sabrina the Teenage Witch – which is very good in my opinion. It is a much darker tale with a much darker ending. I thought the character development was great and enjoyed existing in this world for awhile.

The Ending, I thought was very fitting for dark story. I had read that people were upset with the ending and that is sent the wrong message. I didn’t read the article for fear of more spoilers, but it wasn’t hard to guess. Sabrina (both of them) perish and Nick ends his life to be with her in the afterlife. I thought it was a good ending that would please fans of the show- a show which any watcher knows isn’t real. Young people aren’t stupid- they know the show is fantasy and view it as such. It wont lead young minds to commit suicide if they can’t be together so everyone just take a breathe. If you think it might, then we better stop having kids read Romeo and Juliet as well. At least in this version one of them dies to save everyone else in the story line. Nick Scratch (PS LOVE HIM) simply show up int he afterlife with Sabrina after ‘taking a swim in the sea of sorrows – wicked undertow.’ There is no gruesome death scene with sobbing about not being able to live without her, it’s just not Nick’s style. It was simply a decision in the story to satisfy the fans. It also breathes some hope into the story of Sabrina and the peace she has achieved- they both still exist just in a different plain of existence. It brings back a hopeful air.

As a big fan of Sabrina the Teenage Witch in my younger years, I really appreciated all the nods to the original series in the second to last episode. The return of the original aunts was fun and made sense in the story line. They worked that in nicely. I also liked that Salem was a talking puppet again in the ‘show’ version of Sabrina’s life. They call over the microphone that ‘Mr. Saberhagen’ (spelling?) should report to the set and as OG fans know, Salem was Sabrina’s Uncle who broke magical law and his punishment was like 100 years as a cat or something and his name was Salem Saberhagen. Not having Melissa Joan Hart make an appearance was the right call. There were already two Sabrina’s and we didn’t need a third. They did say there was a previous Sabrina on the ‘show’ and I assumed it was a tip of the hat to our OG Sabrina and that was enough for me.

Overall, I really enjoyed the show – the added characters and it’s dark nature. I think it ended at the right time and had a satisfying ending for fans. It acknowledged the original series while creating something completely new. I recommend it if you like a little dark side to your entertainment.

So, So Sore…

…but in a good way.

I went to my first RIPPED class in months on Friday morning. I am STILL sore today, Monday – but it’s a good sore. It hurts in the good way I had almost forgotten about in my workout slump. It’s a nice feeling. BUT – even better – we did the class live and in person. Don’t worry we were outside on a basketball court with a bunch of space between each person. It felt SO good to be back with everyone. It is so much more fun to workout with my little fit family. I was a tad worried they wouldn’t recognize me with my weight gain, but like I recall, it was a judgement free zone where starting over is welcomed and cheered. It made me feel slightly more normal again. I need to be better with the at home workouts because they can’t all be together yet, but for now I am still riding high from the fit fam reunion. Lot of water and more stretching to relieve the lactic acid, but it’s nice to be reminded of my muscles and to wake them up.

Yep, that's why they are so sore, lol! Funny fitness memes for glutes  #workouthumar #gymmemes | Workout memes funny, Workout quotes funny, Workout  memes

The Decorations Are…

…coming down 😦

The worst part of the holiday season is taking down all the decorations. I know it must be done and they are special because they are only up for a short time, but it still kinda stinks to take them down. Especially this year! I think people expected everything to reset on January 1, 2021 and the pandemic to be magically over and the economy fixed. Not so much. I do like the renewed sense of hope though. I just don’t want it to lead to over confidence and even worse spread of the Corona Virus. There is still a very dangerous pandemic that we all need to be very aware and careful of. I want us all to stay safe and get through this pandemic as a team. We can do it!

The antidote (for now) to all of this looking forward to the inauguration of Biden and Harris. 🙂

Does Everyone’s Mind Do This…

…run circles again and again torturing you over what was possibly a wrong choice.

I hope not. It’s kind of terrible. I know most people say just don’t allow your mind to do that. It’s not that easy. It would be great if it was. I cannot break the pattern of thoughts of worst case scenarios running my mind. My causing pain to others, losing all the things that make me happy. I don’t know why the anxiety comes in like a dark cloud and rains in this pattern that is not preventable or stoppable. I know of course it will stop eventually, but in the middle of if that is really hard to see through. The most exhausting part of it all isn’t even the anxiety, it’s pretending it isn’t there for all those around you. I know they don’t deserve to have what plagues my mind plague theirs, so I keep it to myself. Saying it out loud makes you seem kinda off to someone who hasn’t experienced it. That’s not so fun either. So I hide it as best I can for my sake and theirs.

If your mind doesn’t do this to you, I want you to know how lucky you are and how much I envy you. If your mind does do this to you then know I feel you and you’re not alone or crazy (even though it kind of feels like that).

I know I haven’t posted for awhile; I am sorry to make it on a rough topic. It’s just my honest life and truth in this moment.

With COVID Getting Worse…

…it’s hard not to worry.

I plan to drive myself home for Christmas. It’s a 6 hour drive so not bad. My car gets awesome gas mileage, so I only need to make one stop for gas and to let Marty pee. It’s pretty low risk, but it’s still concerning. COVID seems to be all around and closing in. Yes, the vaccine is out and I am happy about that. It’s going to the right people first and I am very happy about that. But it will take months for the full effect of the vaccine to be felt. Until then, there are bills to pay and not so many work hours to be had. Also, concerning. Lately, I have been looking to the magic and brightness of the season to heal some this anxiety. It works well, but then I started thinking about how I will lift my spirits when the holidays are over. I suppose I will think of something when that time comes. For now, I will let the magic of Christmas lift my spirit and help ease my anxiety. I will do my best to trust everything will work out and do everything I can to be safe and keep those around me safe. That’s all anyone can do right? We just might be better off if everyone was doing it.

Lyrics to Live By…

…so my life and thought process.

Settling Down by Miranda Lambert

Should I give up sunsets for marigold mornings?
Should I look for rainbows or wait for the rain?
Is happiness on the highway? Or it is parked in the driveway?
Should I lean on you, babe? Or should you lean on me?Am I looking for comfort? Am I looking for an escape?
Am I looking for you? Am I looking the other way? I’m a wild child and a homing pigeon
Caravan and an empty kitchen
Bare feet on the tile with my head up in the clouds
I’m one heart goin’ both directions
One love and a couple of questions
Am I settlin’ up or settlin’ down?

Am I settlin’ up or settlin’ down? I could plant a pretty garden, just send myself flowers
Be a jet-set Friday or a Sunday hometown girl
I could stay a little lonely or let you get to know me
Yeah, I could love a picket fence if it wrapped around the world. I’m a wild child and a homing pigeon
Caravan and an empty kitchen
Bare feet on the tile with my head up in the clouds
I’m one heart goin’ both directions
One love and a couple of questions
Am I settlin’ up or settlin’ down?Am I looking for comfort? Am I looking for an escape?
Am I looking for you? Am I looking the other way?I’m a wild child and a homing pigeon
Caravan and an empty kitchen
Bare feet on the tile with my head up in the clouds
I’m one heart goin’ both directions
One love and a couple of questions
Am I settlin’ up or settlin’ down?
Am I settlin’ up or settlin’ down?

I Got Hit in the Head with A Drone…

…among other happenings today.

My dude is super into drones and he has a couple of little ones he flies around the house. I was in the kitchen getting ready to do some dishes (we don’t live together so I don’t have to do them – I am a nice person), and bam a drone in my hair and face. It made a knot it my hair that I ended up having to cut out the last of! Oy. I got kinda mad. Then I felt bad. Then I decided getting mad was justified when ya get in the head with a drone.

On a positive note, we got a Christmas tree! One of the last at Lowe’s and we weren’t alone. COVID time made it go by faster then we thought. Though we were late to the game, we got a very nice tree. It’s drying outside (because it was muddy so it got hosed down) then it will be inside providing cheer!

I got to chat with my BFF today for awhile and that was nice. I told her about the drone incident and she updated me on all her goings on. It was nice to just talk to her. Gotta do that more often. Gonna make pasta for dinner. It’s the food of my people – no not Italian, poor.

How’s your holiday cheer coming along out there?