I have been having a ‘ruff’ 24 hours…I won’t drag you through the details but sometimes setting my own p(e)ace can be taxing, especially when trying to help those around you when they are feeling a bit down.

When I arrived at work and was still dragging I got a surprise! A coworker had brought in her puppy, Fin. He instantly lifted my spirits. Playing with him reminded me that I am doing fine and to keep setting my p(e)eace. I looked back and started thinking of all the times a pup or pet has lifted my spirits when needed. They don’t even have to my pets or pets I will ever see again. I found myself petting strangers dogs twice yesterday and I always feel better after I do.

In some the ‘ruffest’ times in my life a pet has been there to remind me I am doing fine and to keep setting my own p(e)ace. What pet in your life does the same for you? How do they create so much magic?

I have heard the phrase ‘It is what it is’ so much lately from everyone around me including myself. The rising use of this phrase got me thinking about what it really means. In most contexts, I believe people use it in situations or circumstances they don’t feel they can change. While this might be true on some occasions, it feels more like a phrase of defeat rather then acceptance. So hear is the question I pose to all my folks setting their own p(e)ace…why chose defeat? In most situations you have the power to try to change whatever it is you don’t like. I will use myself as an example because as I said I recently used this phrase.

My romantic relationship recently almost ended because of a silly situation. I felt defeated in the whole situation and when explaining it to people I said ‘it is what it is.’ Accepting defeat and applying this phrase in a situation my boyfriend and I could change was only hurting myself. This phrase would have been enough to take me out of a relationship I really want to be in. I was so sad, but I had accepted defeat. I was really lucky in my situation because this wonderful man had not accepted defeat and made me see that I didn’t want to and didn’t have to either. While it’s a work in progress there is progress, and I am so happy that phrase did not cause me defeat in the end. Our relationship (which I will write more about once I run it by him) is progressing with both of us setting our own pace. In future, I will be more careful about using this phrase and especially the power I give it. Don’t let a phrase change your pace.

Has ‘it is what it is’ ever changed you setting your own pace?

Yesterday I debated posting about Mother’s Day on our Instagram but found myself incredibly conflicted about it. Overall, it’s wonderful to thank the Mom’s out in the world because they are amazing; but there are some who consider Mother’s Day a pretty painful holiday. On my journey through Mother’s Day posts I saw a lot of people who are really sad because their mother isn’t with us anymore or because they are trying to become a mother and having trouble. Additionally, I saw posts form women who have chosen not to have babies speak to that. There were a lot of posts about being a fur baby Mom and controversy of what a ‘real’ mom is. The more I looked around the more confused I became. I knew I wanted to post something, but which aspect do I choose? Then I remembered this group is about celebrating all choices, so I am choosing them all. Let’s celebrate where everyone is and celebrate their p(e)ace. Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mothers, fur baby Mothers, women wanting to become Mothers, aunties, women who love children as their own, women who don’t know yet if kids are in their futures, and to the women who choose not to be a mother. For anyone who has lost their mother I am deeply sorry for your loss and hope you have some great memories of them to share with us.

So in conclusion, happy day after Mother’s Day. Join me in celebrating/supporting everyone and their choices.

I would love to hear everyone’s Mother’s Day experiences below!

That’s a good question!

Thank you for joining me in the start of the social media adventure. My name is Drea and I am a 33 year old woman living in California. I have never moved at the same pace that the people around me seem to move at – I move a little slower it seems. It took me a really long time to recognize that isn’t a ‘bad’ thing and that I am not ‘behind’ in life.

After hearing many of my friends and anonymous internet posters express the same sentiment, I decided it was time to start this account and instagram to with it @setmyownp.e.ace Most the people in my life are at different stages of life but feel like they aren’t keeping up with the person in front of them. I am here to spread the word that creating your own pace creates your own peace, whatever that may be. This blog and instagram are not about judging whatever pace you are going at or want to go at I am here to celebrate it. Of course not only my perspective can do this so I will be having guest writers who can give new perspectives. Let’s use this space to celebrate each others paces creating peace, form a community of people who can relate, and have a safe place to share the challenges and doubts that inevitably creep in.

Thanks to MaryEllen Hacket a most gifted artist for providing the image for the movement. You are one bad ass person!